CATHOLICS VS. CONTENT CREATORS: We Challenge the Vatican City Track Team

About a week or so ago, Vatican City announced that they have launched a state sponsored track and field team. A lot of news outlets were reporting it, but Soft 7 Sports took a particular interest in the squad. I even wrote a unique take on it. <–Read it here. Since that day, I have been becoming more and more obsessed with this group of priests and nuns competing athletically. I know so much about this team that I think that me and my bloggers can beat them.

That’s right. I believe that my bloggers can outrun these Olympic hopefuls. We officially challenge the Vatican City Track and Field team to a race. More specifically, a relay race around Vatican City. The country is only 0.17 square miles, so a 4 X the entire country, if you will.

We have dubbed the event CATHOLICS VS. CONTENT CREATORS

Our lineup will be Me (Wic), Parmesan Don, Juice, and Buck. Their’s can be whatever they want. If they really want to show some confidence, they can put that 62-year-old of theirs against us. Bottom line is that it. don’t. matter.

This picture might as well have been taken by us, since we will be so far ahead of them.

The Catholic Church loves to teach acceptance as one of their core values. To stay true to those values and the teachings of Jesus, they should accept this challenge. I know it will be rough to lose to a couple of bloggers, but I know a guy that is pretty good with forgiveness.

Seriously, if anyone can help us out finding a contact for the team captain Monsignor Melchor Jose Sanchez de Toca y Alameda. Yes, that is his entire legal name. Even if you can just find the name of a member of the team, that would be great. In fact, anyone that can help us will get a free Soft 7 Sports t-shirt and 5-pack of S7S stickers.

UPDATE: I found an e-mail address for Monsignor Sanchez de Toca and he ACTUALLY RESPONDED. Nothing is set in stone, but expect a huge announcement in August!

Vatican City Starts Olympic Track and Field Team

With the help of the Italian Olympic Committee, Vatican City has started its very own National Track and Field team. The goal of this team is not only to win, but a team member said it is to “promote culture and running and launch the message of solidarity and the fight against racism and violence of all types.” Basically, they won’t win anything and are here to have fun.

Now, God’s new favorite team is not comprised of who you would think. The team consists of priests, nuns and Swiss guards. Wait. That’s exactly what you thought would be on it? Well, this isn’t a game show. There are also pharmacists and a 62 year old Vatican library worker who, not to let logic get in the way, said, “we may even podium.”

The official Holy See Track team will be competing in the Games of the Small States of Europe (for countries smaller that 1 million people) and the Mediterranean Games. Before this happens there are a couple things I’d like to point out.

First, that 62 year old seems like a real liability. Next, the team president’s name is Monsignor Melchor Jose Sanchez de Toca y Alameda. The race is going to be over by the time the announcer gets done saying that. Lastly, this cross country team literally crosses countries for practice. I don’t care if Vatican City is only 0.17 square miles, that’s the most baller thing I’ve ever heard.