The biggest stories out the Boston camp in this year’s NBA Summer League are Carsen Edwards’ ridiculous fall to the second round, Grant Williams playing some decent basketball when he isn’t doing an impression of a fish out of water and Tacko Fall simply being an enormous human being.
We are learning a lot about the do’s and don’ts when it comes to playing defense on Tacko. For instance, don’t try to block his flat-footed dunks; it will just be that much more embarrassing. Do start boxing him out at the free throw line; it is the only way to ensure that his 8 FOOT wingspan won’t still get the rebound. And above all, don’t try to take a charge when the Tacko Train has a full head of steam.
Brandon Goodwin wasn’t just knocked into next week, he got hit all the way into the regular season. It looked like he got Falcon Punched in Super Smash Bros. or kicked by Goku from Dragon Ball Z. He was like a kid at the end of a dock and Tacko was his friend who wanted to get Twitter famous by tackling someone into a lake.
In case you haven’t heard, Tacko Fall is and enormous human being. Standing at a gigantic 7’7″ tall, he is the size of roughly 2 Isaiah Thomas’s. The Celtics have signed both a physical anomaly and a walking highlight reel. Being the tallest player in the NBA since Yao Ming, NBA fans are going to watch him like a hawk. Not like an Atlanta Hawk though… no one watches them.
Even after countless flat-footed dunks and blocked shots without jumping, it is still hard to comprehend just how tall Tacko is. My simple mind could not grasp the fact that a human person can be the size of a 6 month old giraffe. These pictures and videos are helping the understanding process though. Take a look:
Man, the Cavs never even had a chance against Tacko.
When you get bored creating your NBA 2k MyPlayer.
HUMAN. CHEAT. CODE.
And of course, here is Tacko Fall next to Zion Williamson who is 6’7″ tall.
With the departures of Al Horford, Aron Baynes, Marcus Morris and he who shall not be named, Danny Ainge needed to reload the Boston Celtics Roster and he needed to do it quick. Mainly at the power forward/center position. We wish Mook and Al nothing but the best and, of course, just want Baynes to be happy. Some of us took losing him a little better than others:
So, now the Celtics need to fill the big man vacancy. But how? Well, what does Danny Ainge love more than anything else in the world? The young core. Okay, but what comes right after the young core? Terry Rozier. Well, we thought, but the correct answer is actually big men from foreign countries. Bonus points if they are covered in tattoos.
If the trio of Baynes, Theis and Yabusele from last season wasn’t enough evidence, the Celtics just stocked up on as many as they could like there was a drought coming soon. As if foreign 7 footers were going out of style. First things first, Boston re-signed Daniel Theis and still had Yabusele on contract. But, still being without talents like Horford, Morris and Baynes meant that the Celtics effectively had no viable options at the 4 or 5 spot assuming Tatum would be playing the 3. So, what is Ainge to do?
Sign Enes Kanter, sign Vincent Poirier, and sign Tacko Fall. That makes one very tall and very foreign frontcourt. Just the way Danny likes it. Now, all that is left is to watch Kemba thrive in the Brad Stevens system and return to the Eastern Conference Finals.
Enes Kanter- Turkey Vincent Poirier- France Tacko Fall- Senegal Guerschon Yabusele- France Daniel Theis- Germany