Top Days that Should Be a National Holiday

Ya know the days that we are supposed to be working, but absolutely nothing gets done. The days that everyone already treats like holidays. We’ve all been saying this for years, so let’s actually make something of it. Here are my days that should be a national holiday.

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#4 Black Friday

Look, there is nothing worse than eating turkey, stuffings, casserole, and then pie and then probably doing it again throughout the day but regardless you know you have to be at work the next morning. The worst thing about Black Friday is the fact that you’re so gassy and feel so bloated sitting in your little cubicle, (meat) sweating the day away. While teens and other adults are out capturing the 55 inch TV for $20, you’re stuck in work doing absolutely nothing. This is a pointless workday, mainly because half of the world is off anyway. The American society has been enamored in the sales of Black Friday, so why should other Americans still be trapped in their office? I know what you’re saying “Juice, people have to work so we can go buy things in their store,” and that’s true but if we give everyone off and start Cyber Friday then we can have Black Monday. That way everyone wins and you can sleep off your turkey coma and shop online and not worry about putting clothes on.

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#3 Super Bowl Monday

No one in the world wants to work this day. The Super Bowl is a huge ordeal, especially with eating all of the greasy food that you can. The thing about the Super Bowl, you’re watching every single second of the broadcast due to the new commercials, the halftime show, and then the actual game. It honestly is just such a hassle and having to wake up and go to work the next day should be illegal. There’s no way around that. In fact, on average, 17 million people call in “sick” the following day. No one should ever have to use a sick day for this. The cost of that productivity loss “could top $4 billion” according to the Washington Post. There is no reason that this should be a work day, I think everyone can agree here.

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#2 March Madness

I won’t group the whole tournament but the first Thursday and Friday, where there are games from 12pm-12am, should be a national holiday. No one is getting work done. In fact, some men schedule vasectomies instead of going to work. I had an interview last Friday, the manager I interviewed with said they’ve accepted a lot of money won’t be made and they shut down the office so they can all go down to a bar and watch the games BUT they still get paid. This guy is doing everything right. But the other Americans who expect people to come in and give their full effort, fuck you dude. Everyone in the United States loves some college basketball and I promise you everyone in your office has filled out a bracket. This year, it was estimated that companies would lose 13.3 BILLION dollars during these two days alone due to lack of sales and productivity. What else is it going to take to get this to be a holiday?

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#1 Opening Day

This is the pinnacle of sports day that should be a holiday. March 28, 2019. They have no excuse for this not to be a holiday. The warm, spring weather with the sound of a ball hitting a bat or a ball hitting a glove, the excitement of a home run or honestly, the excitement of drinking a beer and doing absolutely nothing. I’m sitting in my apartment writing this with one TV on the Yankees vs Orioles and the other on Mets vs Nationals. At 4:05pm, I will switch it to the Reds and the true festivities begin there. There is nothing better than watching baseball, dreaming you were on the field or at the game while sipping your Miller Lite and crunching on your homemade nachos. If you’re American, you love baseball. It’s a long season but after their long hiatus, Opening Day is just so refreshing. If we’re lucky, we’ll have a few fights and a few blasts from Stanton and or Judge. So as you’re reading this, I pray you are doing what I am. I hope you took today for you and you are enjoying your beers and your nachos.

If I missed something, feel free to tweet us @Soft7Sports or me individually at Soft7Juice. Let’s get the season started.

Top 5 Super Bowl Foods

If you took yesterday’s Saturday Morning Sports Trivia, you learned that the Super Bowl is the #2 day of food consumption in America. The only day that beats it is Thanksgiving. There is just something about football that makes people want to eat. That’s what the Super Bowl and especially Thanksgiving are all about, right? It’s the American way.

I have been to my fair share of Super Bowl parties in my 23 years of life, and I have compiled the most accurate list of the best Super Bowl foods. Argue with me.

1.Wings

Of course. The timeless classic. Wings are the best thing to eat with any sports game you are watching on tv. Buffalo Wild Wings built an empire on it even though their wings are disgusting. Have some respect for yourself and go to Roosters. 1.33 billion wings are expected to be eaten Super Bowl Sunday so here are some things to remember: ranch is better than bleu cheese and don’t look down on people eating boneless wings. I will defend them until the day I die.

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2.Pizza

There is a reason that the Super Bowl is the #1 day for pizza delivery every year. It is impossible to keep it out of this list. There are 12.5 million pizzas on average made for one game alone. Pizza is just how you feed a crowd. Take notes, Jesus.

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3.Buffalo Chicken Dip

This has become the go-to staple of every get-together. Whenever I go to someone’s house for a game, I always ask “who all gon’ be there?” and “who is bringing the Buffalo chicken dip?” Not all buff chick dips are made equally. A great rule of thumb is to have your girlfriend or one of your buddies’ girlfriends make it. Hasn’t failed me yet. If you are a girl, get really good at making it and your boyfriend’s friends will want to keep you around forever.

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4.Chili

Be careful with chili. Too much of it will scramble your mind and you will begin to miss parts of the game. There are only a few things better than a hot and spicy bowl of chili on a cold February night. Pro tip: Kevin from The Office was spot-on with his chili secret. UNDERCOOK THE ONIONS. It makes all the difference… just don’t drop it. As always, I am here to argue, and noodles go in chili.

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5.Veggie Tray

You shut your mouth or I will do it for you. Vegetable trays are the unsung hero of every party, especially the Super Bowl party. No more pizza, no more wings, what is left? The veggie tray. It is always there for you. Also, after a whole day of eating wings, pizza, buff chick dip and chili; have a couple carrots smothered in ranch and tell yourself that you were healthy. You’re already lying to yourself about having work/class tomorrow, so why not lie to yourself about gaining 5 pounds in one sitting.

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Saturday Morning Sports Trivia 3: Super Bowl Edition

By popular demand, we are back for week three of Saturday Morning Sports Trivia. To get us all in the mood for the biggest football game of the year, we are dedicating this week’s trivia to the Super Bowl. We love each and every one of our readers for their minds. Now, let’s put them to use.

  1. What two cities are tied for the most Super Bowls hosted?
  2. How many Wide Receivers have won Super Bowl MVP?
  3. What team was the first to visit the White House after winning the Super Bowl?
  4. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest food consumption day. What day beats it?
  5. What is the name of the trophy given to the Super Bowl winner?
  6. What company makes said Super Bowl trophy out of sterling silver?
  7. Who was the last defensive player to win Super Bowl MVP?
  8. How many Super Bowls have gone into overtime?
  9. Tom Brady has won 5 Super Bowls as a starter. What two quarterbacks have won 4?
  10. What was the name of this hit rap song performed by the 1985 Bears?

True/False

  1. Joe Montana has never thrown an interception in the Super Bowl.
  2. Purdue University has produced 4 Super Bowl winning starting quarterbacks.
  3. The Buffalo Bills have won only 1 Super Bowl.
  4. Andy Reid has never won a Super Bowl.
  5. Nick Foles is the only quarterback to win 2 Super Bowls versus the Patriots.

Matching– Match the NFL Team to the Super Bowl they won.

I———————————Denver Broncos
X——————————–Chicago Bears
XX——————————Pittsburgh Steelers
XXX—————————Green Bay Packers
XL——————————Pittsburgh Steelers
L——————————–Dallas Cowboys

Answers

  1. New Orleans and Miami
  2. 6
  3. Pittsburgh Steelers
  4. Thanksgiving
  5. Lombardi Trophy
  6. Tiffany and Co.
  7. Von Miller
  8. 1
  9. Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw
  10. Super Bowl Shuffle

True/False

  1. True
  2. False, 3. Drew Brees, Brian Griese, Len Dawson
  3. False, they have not won any
  4. True
  5. False, Eli Manning

Matching
I- Green Bay Packers
X- Pittsburgh Steelers
XX- Chicago Bears
XXX- Dallas Cowboys
XL- Pittsburgh Steelers
L- Denver Broncos

Let us know how you did and share to challenge your friends.

Future Teller Tony Romo Reveals Final Score of Super Bowl LIII

The oracle has spoken. The future telling NFL analyst, Tony Romo, has revealed the final score of Super Bowl LIII to us mere mortals.

Romo said that the final score will be 28-24, but he didn’t stop there. He went full Oracle at Delphi and told us that the team that has the ball last will be the team that loses. They will be in the middle of the last chance effort and fail to get the points they need.

I hang on to every last word of Tony Romo, almost to a fault. I am still waiting for him to give us the winning team even though I know I will never get it. Reason being, he is calling the game and cannot show any bias. Why not? Jay Bilas does it all the time. I am not a betting man, that’s more Parmesan Don and Juice’s thing, but I would become one if Tony Romo was telling me what to do.

Lastly, I would like to say congratulations to Tony Romo on making it to his first Super Bowl. It would have been his second if Dez made a football move.

Tony Romo Has Finally Made It to the Super Bowl

If you didn’t already know, Tony Romo never made it to the Super Bowl as a player. Some call him the best that never was; the B.O.A.T. that never made it to the ‘ship, if you will. There are plenty of reasons about why Romo never made it such as:

Bad coaching, no defense, Dez not making a football move, no one knowing what a football move is, Cole Beasley being his best receiver some years, poor ownership, having fewer wins in Jerryworld than Alabama one year and many others. Basically, it all boils down to a perfect storm that ended up with Romo always falling flat in big games.

Flash forward a couple years to his color commentary career.

CBS will be broadcasting Super Bowl LIII and have selected Jim Nantz and Tony Romo to call the game. I always knew he would make it to a Super Bowl, and just like Romo, I am always right.

I love this so much. Jim Nantz is one of the greatest announcers of all time and Tony Romo has completely changed the color commentary game. The analytical knowledge and psychic-level play predictions enhances the watching experience to a level never before seen.

Romo is on another level when it comes to game calling. Expect this to be the first Super Bowl of many.