Steven Adams’ Butt Screen Is the Best Thing Since the Butt Fumble

We all remember where we were for the butt fumble. Thanksgiving 2012 was just an ordinary holiday. I was hiding from my family watching football when Mark Sanchez tried to hand off to no one, then ran into his own lineman’s butt resulting in an scoop-n-score for the Patriots. Uncles and cousins popped out of the woodwork asking if I had just seen what happened. Really brought us together.

No matter how old we get, butts will always be funny. Especially, when they are used in sports. Yesterday, Steven Adams gave us another play that yet again reinstated the athletic dignity of the butt with this screen.

Of course, that brick wall of a man does not even register that someone ran into him.

In terms of butt related sports plays, nothing will ever beat the butt fumble, but I would rank the Steven Adams butt screen just above when Khalil Mack butt sacked Aaron Rodgers.

Derek Jeter: “Impossible to Win Every Single Game”… Especially When He Trades Away All His Talent

Derek Jeter’s time as the Owner of the Miami Marlins can be summed up in one word: Debacle. Whether it’s the trading of his best players or utter failure to win games, it’s no secret that he is losing the fans. In fact, Miami averaged less than 10,000 fans per game last year. To put that in perspective, the Mets got 28,000.

When Jeter was asked about the state of the team he said:

“This is professional sports, and I feel bad for even saying this, but it’s impossible to win every single game. But one thing you always remember is the experience you have while you’re at the park, and we want it to be a positive experience and we want people to enjoy themselves,” Jeter said, according to the New York Post. “And look, a lot of times people come, they don’t know who won or lost, sometimes they don’t even know who was playing, but they do know if they had a good experience, and that’s what we’re focused on.”

Let’s unpack how nothing of a statement this was. First, Jeter starts out by saying that he cannot win all 162 games and how he feels bad for saying that. What? Jeter feels bad about saying something that is true 100% of the time? A fact as some call it.

Later, he says that some people don’t even know who was playing. Well, duh. The fans know who the stars are, and Jeter keeps trading them away. Giancarlo Stanton to his beloved Yankees and JT Realmuto to division rival Phillies. Hard to know who the players are when either no one does anything or the ones worth getting to know will be shipped off soon.

Lastly, Jeter says that he is focused on the experience for fans. I guess when you can’t show the fans some quality baseball, you have to throw in some gimmicks to make it bearable. I am not much of a TV baseball watcher, but going to a ballpark is one of my favorite things of all time to do. Dollar Dog and Beer Night can make me cancel just about any plan I had previously. But, if I never hear one crack of the bat, then I will feel just a little bit cheated of the experience.

I don’t even have baseball team that I root for, but I know Jeter is doing something wrong. Only a matter of time before there is a full mutiny on him.

LSU Suspends Head Coach Will Wade Indefinitely

On Friday, LSU basketball announced that they would suspend head coach Will Wade indefinitely after a phone conversation between Wade and Christian Dawkins, a basketball middleman, that had been tapped by the FBI back in 2017. The conversation went as follows:

“I was thinking last night on this Smart thing,” Wade said. “I’ll be honest with you, I’m [expletive] tired of dealing with the thing. Like I’m just [expletive] sick of dealing with the [expletive]. Like, this should not be that [expletive] complicated.”

With no elaboration on Javonte Smart, who is now a freshman stud at LSU.

“Dude,” Wade continued to Dawkins, referring to the third party involved in the recruitment, “I went to him with a [expletive] strong-ass offer about a month ago. [Expletive] strong.

“The problem was, I know why he didn’t take it now, it was [expletive] tilted toward the family a little bit,” Wade continued. “It was tilted toward taking care of the mom, taking care of the kid. Like it was tilted towards that. Now I know for a fact he didn’t explain everything to the mom. I know now, he didn’t get enough of the piece of the pie in the deal.”

Dawkins responded by saying, “Hmmmm.”

“It was a [expletive] hell of a [expletive] offer,” Wade continued. “Hell of an offer.”

“OK,” Dawkins said.

“Especially for a kid who is going to be a two- or three-year kid,” Wade said.

The FBI also cited many other coaches in this including Bruce Pearl, Auburn, and Sean Miller, Arizona.

What really sucks about this whole thing is this might be the best LSU team since Shaq was there. As an LSU fan, this might be the first year since I was alive that I feel like we have a legitimate chance to make a deep run in the tournament (at least more than when we had Big Baby, Tyrus Thomas, and Marcus Thornton).

All of that being said, LSU did the right thing. It was obvious that they had fault and that there was a clear issue coming from Wade. So for them to be the first to lay the hammer down was incredibly smart. I think that’s a consensus amongst everyone. The SEC made a statement that they supported LSU and the basketball program in this.

It’s going to be interesting to see how this young LSU team deals with this, and see if they can adapt. I hope they can, but it’ll be very hard. Will Wade was a stellar coach and was a great leader.

This brings the question of whether college programs should be able to pay their players and allow them to profit off their likeness. However, that is a question for another day.

-Parmesan Don

Saturday Sports Trivia, March 2

Just like something that hurts on Coach K we are back for another round of sports trivia. Here at Soft 7 Sports, we would never objectify anybody. We love all of you for your minds. Now, we want to see if you all are as big of sports fans as we are. See if you can get a perfect 10/10.

Be sure to share, retweet, like to challenge your friends and follow us on Twitter @soft7sports.

TRIVIA:

  1. Bryce Harper just signed a contract with the Philadelphia Phillies worth $330 million. How many years is on the contract?
  2. What are the three events that make up a triathlon?
  3. Where did Portland Trail Blazers guard C.J. McCollum play his college basketball?
  4. What company is the jersey sponsor for the Boston Celtics?
  5. The Pensacola Blue Wahoos are the Double-A affiliate of Major League Baseball team?
  6. What did Michael Jordan wear under his uniform during every NBA game?
  7. What three horse races make up the Triple Crown?
  8. Who is the head basketball coach of the Texas Longhorns?
  9. What prominent basketball high school did Carmelo Anthony and Rajon Rondo both attend?
  10. What was the last year that NCAA football “powerhouse” Notre Dame win the national championship?

MATCHING: Match the NBA team to their jersey sponsor.

Milwaukee Bucks___________________ Rakuten
Los Angeles Lakers_________________ Infor
Golden State Warriors______________ Harley-Davidson
Portland Trail Blazers______________ Wish
Brooklyn Nets______________________ BioFreeze

ANSWERS:

  1. 13
  2. Cycling, Swimming, Running
  3. Lehigh
  4. GE
  5. Minnesota Twins
  6. His UNC shorts
  7. Kentucky Derby, Belmont Stakes, Preakness Stakes
  8. Shaka Smart
  9. Oak Hill
  10. 1988

MATCHING ANSWERS:

Milwaukee Bucks___________________ HarleyDavidson
Los Angeles Lakers_________________ Wish
Golden State Warriors______________ Rakuten
Portland Trail Blazers______________ BioFreeze
Brooklyn Nets______________________ Infor

UConn Self-Imposes Sanctions after Kevin Ollie Scandal

Back in 2018, after a disappointing 14-18 season, Kevin Ollie was fired “for cause” by UConn. Some thought it was for the terrible season and some thought it was beCAUSE they hated him. However, it was due to Kevin Ollie being charged with unethical conduct by the NCAA.

The Huskies did one hell of a job kicking this ice under the fridge.

This unethical conduct Ollie is being charged with is giving misleading information about recruiting. Having former UConn stars like Ray Allen and Rudy Gay video call recruits and basically lying about it was one of the more serious violations listed. When a head coach is charged Level-1 NCAA violations, the best thing to do is get rid of that coach and comply the best you can.

UConn is doing just that, but took it one step further and has self-imposed sanctions. Sanctions include the loss of a scholarship for next season, reduction in official recruiting visits, reduction in recruiting hours from 130 to 126 (whoa, easy there) and paying a $5,000 fine to the NCAA.

Self-imposed sanctions are the dumbest thing a school can do. It never helps, just ask Louisville. Self-imposing is like committing a crime and moving to terrible place thinking that time in Cleveland will knock time off your sentence. Or giving yourself a postseason ban knowing that you do not have any shot at winning the championship in hopes the NCAA go easy on you. I promise, the NCAA does not care.

The best thing to do is comply and deny.