Seattle Mayor Definitely Just Leaked the Name of Their NHL Expansion Team

In a big time blunder, Seattle Mayor, Jenny Durkan, may have just accidentally tweeted the name of the newest NHL expansion team.

#GoKraken? The newest expansion team in the NHL is going to be called the Seattle Kraken? With all the hype that was coming with the Seattle expansion, it’s a little disappointing that this is the way we all found out. What is also disappointing is just how bad this name is.

Typically, Seattle professional teams select their name based on something that is related to the city. The Mariners for the marine culture in Seattle, Supersonics because of the Boeing plant and Seahawks for reasons I am sure you can figure out.

There are no kraken around the Seattle Area though. In fact, there are no kraken anywhere. The kraken is an enormous mythical giant squid said to have appeared off the coast of Norway.

There is just no way that the city signed off a name that ridiculous. I think there is a bigger conspiracy going on and one of two things happened:

First scenario: The mayor really wanted the name to be the Kraken so she purposely released the tweet with the #gokraken with full knowledge that the name had not yet been released. She is just strong arming her way into getting what she wants.

Second scenario: The tweet was released for the sole purpose of gauging public response. If the people of Seattle seem to like Kraken then they will keep it. If not, they will issue a statement apologizing for the confusion and say they have yet to decide on the name.

As far as the potential names go, Kraken is not the worst, but it is also far from the best. Here is the list that Kraken was picked from:

  • Seattle Cougars
  • Seattle Eagles
  • Seattle Emeralds
  • Seattle Evergreens
  • Seattle Firebirds
  • Seattle Kraken
  • Seattle Rainiers
  • Seattle Renegades
  • Seattle Sea Lions
  • Seattle Seals
  • Seattle Sockeyes
  • Seattle Totems
  • Seattle Whales

Despite the fact Kraken is just a terrible name, the Red Wings already have a monopoly on all things squid.

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Possible Seattle NHL Expansion Team Names

Seattle has just been unanimously approved to be the home of the NHL’s 32nd team in the latest expansion. There are plenty of problems remaining like the expansion draft, coaching, money, etc., but I don’t care about any of that. Their biggest problem to me, a guy who doesn’t know what icing is, is that Seattle doesn’t have a name yet.

The way I see it, there’s a couple of ways that they can go about this. 

Old School: I have seen the name Metropolitans pop up quite a bit on Twitter recently. I am guessing from context that this was the old Seattle team’s name. Stop living in the past. Not only is there already a Big 4 team with this name (NY Mets), there is a division in the NHL already named exactly that. Imagine if there was an NFL expansion and they called that team the Las Vegas NFC Souths.

Ownership: Jerry Bruckheimer is a part owner for the Seattle expansion team. He has said “ever name has a chance right now.” I think he secretly wants the team to be named after one of his movies so might I suggest: Seattle Lone Rangers, Seattle Bad Boys II, Seattle Crimson Tide, Seattle Dangerous Minds, or the Seattle Pearl Harbors. Okay, maybe not that last one. I did not say the Glory Roads because I assume that it will be used over a billion times in promotions.

Corporate: If they want some serious money to get poured into the franchise very quickly, they should do exactly what the NY Red Bulls did in the MLS. Obviously, the Red Bulls are owned in some way by the energy drink giants and have loads of money because of it. Luckily for Seattle, there are a ton of wealthy Seattle-based businesses that are right around the corner. Possibilities are the Seattle Amazons, Seattle Starbucks, Seattle Costco Wholesalers, Seattle Microsofts, or even the Seattle Alaskan Airlines. 

Minor League Baseball:I’m not saying that Seattle should straight up jack another team’s name, but if they want a WOW factor, this is the type of energy they need to bring. Here’s how you create a minor league baseball team name: either take something that is not intimidating at all OR combine 2 words that have no business being together. Just some examples to get the ball rolling: Montgomery Biscuits, Akron RubberDucks, Modesto Nuts (my favorite), Binghamton Rumble Ponies, Pensacola Blue Wahoos, Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, Fort Wayne TinCaps (yes, literally metal hats), or the New Orleans Baby Cakes. You can look all of these up if you want. I promise they are all real.

I hope Seattle goes as ridiculous as possible with their team name. I’d pay money to see the Top Guns play. Even though Seattle seems to be very happy with the decision and the new team, I am sure they just want the SuperSonics back.