Smash Mouth vs. the Phillies Is the Battle We Never Knew We Needed

SOMEBODY once told me that Smash Mouth would be in the news again very soon. I just assumed that there was a new Shrek movie they were featured on. So, you could imagine my disappointment when it was anything other than that. We didn’t get what we wanted, but what we got was something we never knew we needed. Smash Mouth is now bashing Bryce Harper and Phillies fans on Twitter.

And the tweets started coming and they didn’t stop coming.

I really can’t tell what side the Shrek guys are on. Do they like Bryce Harper or are they just still butt hurt that he did not go to San Francisco? If that was the case, then why are they coming after Phillies fans for booing Harper? If there is one thing that never changes in sports, it’s that Phillies fans are going to be fair weather fans no matter what. But they do get defended by the players for some reason. This time by reliever Tommy Hunter.

And even Brett Myers, ’08 World Series champion and now musician felt the need to step in.

And old Phillies player turned musician is really going after Smash Mouth for not having fans in the one city that they do. Weird.

Ben Simmons Trying to Build a House with These Bricks

A debate as old as his career: can Ben Simmons shoot? While his .000 3PT% says no, but his relationships with Tanashe and Kendall Jenner say maybe.

In college, Simmons’ jumpshot looked like it was a promising work in progress. A couple years in the NBA should develop him into a semi-reliable three point shooter. But now, in his third rookie season, Simmons is not only tied for the worst three point percentage in the league, but teams refuse to respect him from anywhere outside the paint.

He is working on it though. Only problem, the practice is showing absolutely no progress of any kind. Take a look:

Looking like Shaq from the free throw line. To be completely fair, that assistant coach was playing super stellar defense right there. A lot more defense at the top of the key than Simmons is used to.

Related image
Related image

NBA Playoffs Take Ratings Hit… But Are Better Than Ever

Recently saw that the ratings have hit a viewership dropoff akin to when Jordan retired both times. Is this because LeBron isn’t in the playoffs? Of course it is! However, I am stuck here saying this has been one of my favorite playoffs, and there are a host of reasons…

The West has had a shockingly bad playoff stretch. The Rockets and my beloved Jazz was horrible to watch. Watching the Clips take swings at the Warriors is cute, but futile. The Spurs and Nuggets is great, but it is just painful to watch the horrible shooting both teams are displaying currently. The best series is the Thunder-Trailblazers, and that is solely for the reason Dame is big brother-ing Russ out there. Or is it because Russ and the Thunder can’t hit a three if their life depended on it?

It doesn’t matter, since the East is where the action has been. Sure, the Bucks-Pistons and Raptors-Magic series were predictable in their outcomes. And the Celtics-Pacers game was disappointing without Dipo suiting up. Yet the best series of the first round goes to the 76ers-Nets matchup, where the Night King himself Jared Dudley has cemented himself as the Meme God of the playoffs.

Image result for jared dudley vs 76ers

Even though the Nets may be down 3-1 in the series right now, Game 5 is worth your attention. With Game 4 resulting in Jared Dudley taking swipes at both Joel Embiid and Jimmy Butler, who knows what J-Dud has in store for us. However, he is not the only player to get ejected…

The real reason I am writing this is to point out why many around NBA media/Twitter are saying this is an amazing first round right now, and I think it is stemming from the animosity players are beginning to show again. Last year, there were 3 ejections in the entire playoffs. Before Sunday’s games, there were 7. AND THIS IS THE FIRST ROUND! I am getting some serious 90’s animosity levels on the court right now, and it is absolutely amazing to regain that aspect of entertainment for the NBA again.

Can’t wait for the Game 5’s to roll around. Might even make/buy some popcorn for this.

Joel Embiid’s Newest Endorsement Is Brutally Honest

Say what you will about Joel Embiid, but I cannot get enough of him in this year’s Playoffs. He’s so much fun to watch; blocking everything Jarrett Allen puts up, jumping out of the gym to dunk when he really just needs to stand on his tiptoes, just your typical 7 footer things. Even with the excitement he brings to every game, we get to see even more of him during commercial breaks. Check out his new commercial with Hulu.

Easily the best commercial of the 2019 Playoffs. Not that impressive since it is only competing with the godawful Progressive ads, but at least a third quarter Super Bowl commercial nonetheless.

What I love the most about this is how brutally honest it is. Every other commercial starring an athlete is just him or her pretending to love a product. But why does Serena Williams only drink Gatorade? Why does LeBron only wear Nike? It’s not because it is the only brand for them; it’s money.

The kid asks Joel Embiid in the tunnel (giving off a real “Mean” Joe Greene Coca-Cola Super Bowl ad vibe) why he changed his nickname. Embiid gives the answer we all knew, but did not think he would actually say…. Money. An actually original and organic take for a commercial.

I Guess Wanted Posters Are a Thing Now?

Like a lot of the worst trends in this country, this one started in Brooklyn. After the Nets shut down Ben Simmons in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Playoffs, they got a little cocky. Pretty soon, the area surrounding Barclays Center was littered with wanted posters looking for Simmons’ missing jumpshot.

This is so perfect. You have to appreciate the amount of time and effort that went into making this poster. At least 6 jabs at Simmons for his inability to shoot. Unfortunately for the Nets, this only inspired Simmons to go off for triple-double.

Now, like the Dropkick Murphys, the wanted poster trend is shipping up to Boston. Bruins fans have begun posting wanted signs for Nazem Kadri for his cross check on the Bruins’ Jake Debrusk.

Looks like the pettiness of the NBA is rubbing off on the NHL and I am HERE FOR IT. However, The people of Boston had to have seen the effects that the Brooklyn wanted posters had on them. Can’t say they haven’t been warned.

In all seriousness, as a Boston fan, I am not worried about any series with Toronto for one major reason…

The Nets Deserve Every Part of Their Last Two Losses to the Sixers

In a shocking upset, the Brooklyn Nets defeated the Philadelphia 76ers in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference First Round. To the Nets credit, they did shut down Redick, Harris and Simmons en route to a 111-102 victory. They even made Philly fans devolve into their natural forms and began booing their own team.

Little did they know, Philly booing themselves is a pretty easy feat to achieve. Game 1 could have just been an off night for the Sixers. Maybe just part of “the process” we should all be trusting.

Hard to believe that the team that hasn’t been good since Jason Kidd was a player would let one win go to their head. The trolls of Brooklyn even put up their keyboard for a night and took to the streets to let Ben Simmons know just how badly he played in Game 1.

Gotta say; this is pretty hilarious. Not just that something that never existed can’t be missing, but that every other line has a new jab at Simmons. The amount in his contract, the contact at the bottom, and the reference to what Jared Dudley had to say about Simmons’ play… “just average.”

Simmons probably didn’t see the missing poster before Game 2, but he definitely heard what Dudley had to say. He was probably asking the same question as the rest of us: “Wait, who is Jared Dudley?” It’s gotta sting a little bit when a lesser-known player than yourself decides to call you “just average”.

Brooklyn had to know that all of this chirping was going to bite them in the long run. And bite them it did. In Game 2, Simmons dropped a triple-double. Then, a 31 point performance in Game 3 to take the lead of the series 2-1.

Shouldn’t have poked the bear, Brooklyn. Y’all deserve every bit of these last two losses.

Philly Fans Back to Booing Their Own Team

Say what you will about the Philadelphia fan base, but at least they show up to games. Maybe what they do at those games is more detrimental than checking on your sick child, but they are there and that has to count for something.

If I know Philly fans for one thing, it is that they either easily lose faith in their team or they are all ghosts. All I ever hear is “boo”. In just the last week, they graced us with two different displays of their disapproval in two different sports.

First, they booed their own 76ers. Take a look:

Considering that the Sixers were getting worked by the Brooklyn Nets of all teams, I have to side with the Philly fans here. How much longer are they going to have one of the best starting 5’s in the NBA before they start getting some real results in the Playoffs. “Trusting the process” now is like trusting George RR Martin that the dragons would come. Yes, eventually they came, but like two seasons late.

Maybe the same true Philly sports fans went to the Phillies game, because they showed exactly why some people consider them the worst fanbase.

We’re booing pitchers for their hitting abilities now? That’s like booing Tom Brady for his catching ability… which I am sure Philly fans did too. So when all of the all-stars on the team failed to get anything going, the straw that broke the camel’s back was when the relief pitcher struck out. There could not have possibly been a thought process that went into that.