D-Lo Restricted Market Heating Up

The man who used to be famous for saying he had “ice in his veins” is now dealing with the reality of watching his market heat up. Despite being traded for stupid reasons and having a run-in with TSA over possession of some stanky green herbs, the young All-Star is garnering interest from many teams as the solution to their problems at guard. No longer alone in the pitch mob, the Nets now find themselves in the company of the Jazz, Magic, TWolves, and Pacers for the young guards’ future.

Obviously, the two worst teams in this group of five are the Magic and TWolves. Possessing the worst rosters and cap situations to pair with the young guard, he would do a major disservice to his career by accepting offers to those destinations. The Orlando Magic are easily the worst destination. Even though they have another All-Star to pair with D-Lo, said All-Star (Nikola Vucevic) is on the wrong side of the age spectrum. To top it off, the Magic possess 5 players on their roster that either are best served at the 4 or 5, and have maybe 1 other player that is serviceable at the other 3 position. D-Lo could easily make the All-Star team on the Magic, and can help the Magic go from the 8th seed to the 5th-6th seed. However, they will never get out of the first round, and the team is a major step-back from the situation he is in with the Nets. The Minnesota TimberWolves, while still being a worse situation than the Nets, are a better destination than the Magic. The TWolves showing that they are willing to pay D-Lo means that they must have a market for two of the three horrible contracts on their books right now (Jeff Teague, Andrew Wiggins, and Gorgui Dieng). The TWolves possess one of the 5 best bigs in the league with Karl Anthony-Towns, and are set with him at center. Imagine a pick and roll/pop between those two? Deadly to say the least, and thats without them adding any other pieces to this puzzle.

The Jazz and Pacers, on the other hand, are way more intriguing than the Nets. The Pacers, without star SG Victor Oladipo, were one of the best defensive teams in the league. With Dipo back, Myles Turner taking another step forward, and D-Lo by their side? Sounds like the league, let alone the East, would be prepared for what that team will be bringing everyday. However, it is all hypothetical. The only good players under contract for the Pacers currently are Oladipo and Turner, the rest of the starters and bench for the Pacers are hitting the free agency. I am sure they will have to spend quite a bit of their cap on retaining those players, and I don’t know if they will have enough left to get D-Lo and other pieces. On the flip side, the Jazz are perfectly set to offer D-Lo the best situation and contract. With their best players and bench already locked up on team friendly contracts, and the only other competition at point guard already been told that “he is not a priority” to them, the Jazz can offer D-Lo the best place to succeed. With the Warriors break-up eminent, the crown for “Best in the West” is up for grabs, and many teams are trying to reload to do so. Old guard teams like the Thunder, Rockets, and TrailBlazers are trying to add shots of vitality in their systems, while teams that have embraced the youth movement like the Kings and Nuggets are priming themselves to topple the power struggle present in the West. This leaves teams like the Clippers and Jazz in precarious positions, jostling to acquire more stars to make themselves not only relevant, but serious contenders in a loaded conference.

Again though, all these teams may want to sign Russell, but they are heavily disadvantaged when compared to the Nets. Rumors are circulating that Kyrie and KD both have property in New York, and would rather go to the Nets if the Knicks cannot get another All-Star on their roster. The Nets would make a Irving-Russell-Durant lineup work easily, and the bench would be amazing. The important thing to remember though is that this is the RESTRICTED free agency of D-Lo. This means that the Nets hold matching rights over any contract that is offered to him. I fully expect the Nets to match any offer made to the face of their franchise, regardless of weed charges or not.

Every Big 4 New York City Sports Team Imploded within a Month of Each Other

New York Sports are a catastrophic dumpster fire right now. In the months of April or May, every single Big 4 professional sports team in the Big Apple has been turned on its head. They are all in shambles in one way or another. Having two teams in every major sport doubles their chances of having at least one good team, but the consistent top draft picks seems to only have a negative effect. Here is the current state of all the New York City basketball, hockey, football and baseball teams.

BASKETBALL

Knicks
The math gods were not kind the New York Knicks at the NBA Draft Lottery. As it turns out, having a 14% to get the number one overall pick also means that there is a 86% that they won’t. Putting all their eggs in one basket (because they couldn’t put basketballs in it) for Zion ended up not working out. At the third pick, they could still get RJ Barrett and with the possibility of getting KD and Kyrie could mean there is hope. But right now, it looks like 2020 could be another tank year.

Nets
“The Process” proved trustworthy as the Sixers knocked out the Nets in a gentleman’s sweep. But hey, at least they made the playoffs.

HOCKEY

Islanders
So much talent, so much promise and so much potential all leading to so much heartbreak. The best Islanders season in recent history ending in a sweep to the Hurricanes who are on the verge of being swept themselves.

Rangers
Yikes. The Rangers finished the season with a 32-36 record and missed the playoffs.

FOOTBALL

Giants
Any and all hope for this team was flushed down the toilet at the 2019 NFL Draft. With Eli’s career on its metaphorical death bed, the Giants desperately needed a new quarterback who could be the new face of the franchise. Everyone in the world would have picked Dwayne Haskins… except for David Gettleman who ended up selecting Daniel Jones out of Duke. Leading to the mental breakdown of many Giants fans.

Jets
Well, the Jets just fired their GM Mike Maccagnan and VP of Player Personnel Brian Heimerdinger. It’s a good thing to get rid of upper management in a franchise that has been so terrible in recent years, but now Adam Gase may be the new GM…

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BASEBALL

Yankees
Literally everyone is hurt.

Mets
Oh man, the Mets are bad. Not like Yankees bad where they will be good again as soon as some players come back, but Knicks bad. They are even considering bringing up Tim Tebow who is hitting .120 just to put asses in seats.

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Jared Dudley: The Hero We Don’t Deserve

Much like Batman is to the city of Gotham, so to is Jared Dudley to the city of Brooklyn. Coming in as a slightly worthless player on Phoenix, Jared Dudley has made himself the heart and soul of this Brooklyn team. If it wasn’t for the fact Magic Johnson called out D-Lo for not being a leader, and Russell’s meteoric rise to contest that, I would think Jared has assumed the leadership mantel for the entire team. However, being the vet should suffice alone for him, but I am not sure he will accept just that…

NBA Meme Gang has bestowed the honorary title of Night King to Sir Jared of the Dudleys, and it was a title earned through many trials. He first called All-Star Ben Simmons average, which is something you apparently can’t do with someone’s family jewels (or half-court play, who knows or cares). He then attacked the giant of Joel 1-on-1 after a second offense of hitting Jarrett Allen in the head, only for a Butler by the name of Jimmy to cheap shot him from behind.

The tales and legends grow with each passing day for Jared, but we need more. Being down 1-3 in the series isn’t good for the Nets of the borough of Brooklyn, but hopefully they will bounce back. After all, the Warriors themselves proved that nothing is safe when a team is up 3-1. So fight on Jared and the Nets! Us middle-aged looking dudes support your valiant effort against those gosh-darned youngsters!

…God that was cringe-worthy to write…

The Nets Deserve Every Part of Their Last Two Losses to the Sixers

In a shocking upset, the Brooklyn Nets defeated the Philadelphia 76ers in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference First Round. To the Nets credit, they did shut down Redick, Harris and Simmons en route to a 111-102 victory. They even made Philly fans devolve into their natural forms and began booing their own team.

Little did they know, Philly booing themselves is a pretty easy feat to achieve. Game 1 could have just been an off night for the Sixers. Maybe just part of “the process” we should all be trusting.

Hard to believe that the team that hasn’t been good since Jason Kidd was a player would let one win go to their head. The trolls of Brooklyn even put up their keyboard for a night and took to the streets to let Ben Simmons know just how badly he played in Game 1.

Gotta say; this is pretty hilarious. Not just that something that never existed can’t be missing, but that every other line has a new jab at Simmons. The amount in his contract, the contact at the bottom, and the reference to what Jared Dudley had to say about Simmons’ play… “just average.”

Simmons probably didn’t see the missing poster before Game 2, but he definitely heard what Dudley had to say. He was probably asking the same question as the rest of us: “Wait, who is Jared Dudley?” It’s gotta sting a little bit when a lesser-known player than yourself decides to call you “just average”.

Brooklyn had to know that all of this chirping was going to bite them in the long run. And bite them it did. In Game 2, Simmons dropped a triple-double. Then, a 31 point performance in Game 3 to take the lead of the series 2-1.

Shouldn’t have poked the bear, Brooklyn. Y’all deserve every bit of these last two losses.