The NCAA Tourney Game That the Mafia Is Most Likely to Be Involved in

One thing I loved about the Kentucky vs. Louisville rivalry from the years of 2009-2017 was that, in a Pitino vs. Calipari matchup, you never knew whether or not the mafia was going to get involved.

If you are a true Soft 7 and have been following us for a while, you know that I love to sink my teeth in any story about the mob getting involved in sports. Already this year, the Armenian mob got caught fixing tennis matches in Spain and a mob boss in France who lamely calls himself “maestro” was arrested for his role in fixing tennis matches. Now, my ridiculous imagination has me hoping that the mafia will involve themselves in this year’s NCAA tournament. And I know the perfect game.

There are plenty of rivalries that could potentially meet up, but there is one game with some serious bad blood and it is in the first round. 7-Seed Louisville taking on 10-Seed Minnesota.

Rick Pitino was battered and humiliated when he was ousted as Head Coach of Louisville. He vowed to never return to that city again (he has since broken that vow, but please ignore that). Pitino brought Louisville Basketball back to their former glory from the 80’s and they threw him out like Jazz from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. All because of a dirty assistant coach named Andre McGee and a pimp named Katina Powell (notice that I didn’t say lady pimp, because it is 2019 and women can do anything).


With Rick Pitino’s own son, Richard Pitino, coaching Minnesota, this could be a potential trap game for the Cardinals. Daddy Rick is going to be in Lil’ Richard’s ear all week telling him exactly how these Louisville guys play.

I am not saying that the mafia will 100% be involved. I am not even saying there is a 1% chance. But the chance is better than every other game. If cheesy black-and-white mobster movies have taught me anything, it is that mobster love revenge and doing things for the hell of it. Louisville vs. Minnesota is the only game that fits the criteria.

Vinny and Louie will be on standby.

No More Timber-Bulls

As is the case with any firing, I am sorry that someone lost their job. Sure, he was fired for ineptitude, but it should not be celebrated. He is a man with a family, and now he is unemployed.

But, on the flip side, all Timber-Bulls fans…oh wait, have to change that line of discussion now, much to my chagrin. So, let us have a quick moment of silence in ode to one of the best nicknames ever for a team. Of course, this name/team was created suspiciously after a national holiday that Taco Bell somewhat loosely supports (or openly supports in the state of Colorado)…

Here Lies:
Minnesota Timber-Bulls
Created by the Coach-GM Tom “Thibs” Thibodeau
April 21, 2016 – January 6, 2019
May It Never Occur EVER Again

…okay, on to the real news with this firing.

Shortly after Thibs and the Wolves blowout win against a Lebron-less Lakers, GM Scott Layden and CEO Ethan Casson walked into Thib’s office and fired him. Yes, you read that right. He was fired after a win in his own office by people who were (based on how title designations have worked in the past in the NBA) essentially below him in the power hierarchy.


Very rough way to start off the year, especially since their targeted replacement (Fred Hoiberg) replaced Thibs when he got fired from Chicago. It also doesn’t help said replacement was fired recently as well, AND that he is attracting a lot of attention from the college basketball crowd. Now a coach who is not only younger than a couple players on his roster, but who is also the son of one of the late owners Flip Saunders. While look into that as you may, I find it somewhat suspect that the son of an owner is becoming the coach. I have heard numerous good things, and seen a lot in his resume to back up his claim for the coaching spot. However, I do not believe that Glenn Taylor is anywhere close to being the 3rd worst owner (aka he is tied for worst owner with the Suns organization).

Overall I am still suspect of the Timberwolves, and believe that a couple monumental changes will occur to their roster at some point in the near future. Hopefully they realize that they need to build and not try and win now, but their cap space is essentially dead in the water. They have too much wrapped up in the bad contracts of Wiggins and Dieng, and I hold no faith in the direction that they are going.

Time will tell how this team shakes out, but I would not be holding my breath currently.