Next Coach for Michigan Basketball

On Monday, John Beilein left Michigan after 12 seasons for the Cleveland Cavaliers. A head coach leaving a college program in mid-May leave puts the school in a tough spot, so who will Michigan call and who will Michigan hire?

People that Shouldn’t Answer the Phone

Brad Stevens (12/1 odds). For some reason, people link Stevens to every college opening since he left Butler. He’s coached his last college game. Let him go.

Billy Donovan (7/2 odds). This all changes if Oklahoma City fires Donovan, but he’s not leaving for college either. It took Fred Hoiberg almost a whole season of NBA teams not wanting him before he settled for a college job.

Realistic Hires

Juwan Howard (3/1 odds). It’s like a poor man’s Patrick Ewing situation. Howard has been an assistant coach since 2013 makes sense for him to be moving up. Why is it a poor man’s Ewing? Howard was no Ewing and Michigan is far less prestigious that Georgetown.

Johnny Dawkins (+2200). Dawkins just came off a compelling run with UCF. Falls and his Dawkins’s son are both done at UCF. Now is the time to jump ship for a better job.

Chris Beard (+325). Beard is another guy losing a lot of talent this offseason. With Culver, Mooney, Owens, and Francis leaving, Beard needs to strongly consider whether he wants to stick around Lubbock.

Unrealistic Hires that Would be Interesting

Rick Pitino (+475). Like Stevens, Pitino has been linked to every job opening since he departure from Louisville. Unlike Stevens, a lot of the college jobs would be an upgrade for Pitino. Pitino brings a lot of basketball acumen and arguably even more baggage.

Porter Moser (+2200). Moser needs to leave Loyola University Chicago if he wants to cash in on his 2018 Final Four appearance. However, Moser has turned down several other jobs, including St. John’s. If Moser doesn’t cash in soon, he much get stuck with the DePaul job.

Bobby Hurley (+2200). If Michigan wants a guy who starts hot and fades when it matters, then Hurley should be at the top of the list. His Sun Devils have had an above .500 record in the Pac-12 Conference just once in his four years there. But hey, he went to Duke and is entertaining on the sidelines.

Weird Rumors

LaVall Jordan (+900). It makes sense to hire from a place that doesn’t miss on coaches (as long as you ignore Brandon Miller). However, Butler has a better reputation for hiring coaches than Jordan Butler has a coach himself. Butler made the tournament in Jordan’s first season there, but Butler has yet to do anything of interest under Jordan.

Steve Wojciechowski (+2200). Another Big East coach, Wojo is building a resume that will likely land him a bigger job. However, Marquette has National Player of the Year candidate Markus Howard coming back, so the timing is just not quite right for Wojo to go.

Best Hire

Luke Yaklich (+600). One of Beilein’s assistant, Yaklich is probably the least sexy hire out there. That’s half of the appeal. Yaklich’s presence greatly improved the Michigan defense over the past two years, and he was a head coach in high school for 14 year. Plus, sticking with a guy who has been there might keep the Michigan players from transferring.

Probable Hire

The Michigan Athletic Department might have a flair for dramatic hirings (See Harbaugh, Jim). Michigan is obsessed with Michigan Men and they will likely introduce a Michigan Man as their next head coach: Juwan Howard.

Rick Pitino May Be the Next Head Coach of Michigan Even Though He Screwed Them in 2001

Oh, how the tables have turned. Michigan may finally get Pitino after all. If you didn’t know, back in 2001 Rick Pitino actually signed an agreement to be the next head coach of the Michigan Wolverines. Obviously, he eventually backed out and became the coach of Louisville, but how he informed Michigan of his new decision may be the most Pitino thing of all time:

“I tried to call the A.D. at Michigan between 12 and 1,” he recalled. “I had a false name. I would give him a fake name and he would call me back. I couldn’t get a hold of him because he was playing squash. The secretary said he demands that he doesn’t get interrupted unless it’s an emergency and if you want you can leave a voicemail. I left a voicemail and went to Louisville and I’m really happy I did.”

He used a fake name to talk to the AD of Michigan? I can’t decided between a shady joke or a kinky sex joke, but one thing is for certain; some things never change. And another thing that never changes is that Rick Pitino tops the odds of a head coaching vacancy. According to Bovada, he is the second favorite to take the Michigan job.

So, Chris Beard has the best odds. After signing that massive extension at Texas Tech, I would be surprised if he left that quickly, but if he does, I totally called that. Humble brags only.

Then, there is Juwon Howard. I swear I hear more about him trying to be a coach than I ever did when he was a player. As just an assistant for the Heat, I am sure he would take the first chance he gets to become the head coach of a college or professional team.

But there is just something about Pitino in Michigan that I love so much. Say what you will about him as a person or his past personal history, but man can coach. He would run the Big 10 in a way that we have never seen before and would make Tom Izzo look like the coach he really is. A fraud who cannot win championships.

Michigan’s Iggy Brazdeikis Blows Kiss to Maryland Crowd Chanting “You Are Ugly”

“You are ugly” *clap. clap. clap clap clap. “You are ugly”. Maryland went full high school student section last night as they chanted “you are ugly” at Michigan forward Iggy Brazdeikis. Thankfully, this chant wasn’t directed at me this time.

Brazdeikis was already balling out when it came time for him to shoot two free throws early in the second half. The chant started as Iggy made both free throws, cupped his hand to around his ear and pumped up the crowd asking for more. Maryland coach Mark Turgeon directed to PA announcer to tell fans to stop with the chant. Some stopped and apologized (soft) while other kept it going.

It continued until the 5 minute mark. Maryland was on a 7-0 run that put them down by only 3. Iggy drains a dagger of a three that put and end to the Terps run and their chances at winning. He follows up the shot with a kiss blown directly to Maryland’s student section.

This is a terrible look for Maryland. First, leave the high school chants back home where they belong. Next, maybe don’t try to get inside the head of the most confident guy on the court. Iggy bodied Maryland all game and finished with 21 points. Maybe pick a weaker target especially when you are Maryland of all teams.

CFP Rankings 11/26/18

Week 13 of College Football brought a major shake up to the top 10. Don’t worry, I am sure the College Football Playoff Selection Committee will waste no time letting their biases get the best of them and getting the whole thing wrong. Rest assured, ya boy is here to set the record straight.

  1. Alabama (12-0)- Duh.
  2. Notre Dame (12-0)- The Irish gave us a scare this past weekend versus USC. Going into halftime down 3 placed Notre Dame’s ass firmly in the jackpot. Just like the Bible, another Book helped lead them to victory. Great comeback to finish the season undefeated. 
  3. Clemson (12-0)- Wow! The Tigers put up 56 points against an unranked, barely bowl-eligible team! Unreal. How do they do it? Clemson’s schedule is such a joke this year. Keep in mind they gave up 510 yards and 5 touchdowns to Jake Bentley. A guy who is such a cheap knockoff of what a quarterback is supposed to be, I call him Jake Kia.
  4. UCF (11-0)- Gotta let them in. Now is your chance, CFP Selection Committee. Make an example out of them! They won’t do it though. Knowing the committee, they will use McKenzie Milton’s knee explosion injury as a reason not to put them in the top 4. Ya know, the same reason they kept out Ohio State when they were on their third stringer in 2015.
  5. Georgia (11-1)- Not too impressive of a win against Georgia Tech, but they got the job done. Good win.
  6. Ohio State (11-1)- Made a hell of a case for themselves this past weekend. The Buckeyes put an end to Michigan’s “Revenge Tour” by hanging a 60 burger on them. They won 62-39. What a performance by Dwayne Haskins too. 396 yards and 6 touchdowns against Michigan should put him on anyone’s Heisman Watch. I’d love to see him throw for 800 and 8 on Clemson.
  7. Oklahoma (11-1)- Another week, another game the Sooners refuse to play defense. They gave up 56 points to West Virginia and still won. Luckily for them, they are one of the worst teams to get into a shootout with.
  8. Michigan (10-2)- Brutal loss to Ohio State. This was an absolute killer to their season and they will need all of the help to get into the playoff now. There is still hope, Wolverine fans. Just kidding, your dreams are dead.
  9. Washington State (10-2)- Their loss last Friday to Washington does not seem so bad in comparison to others. Either way, my dreams of a Mike Leach championship are over. As are Mike Leach’s. 
  10. Texas (9-3)- Say what you will, but they are the best 3-loss team. A good season with good wins will get you some good rewards. You can catch the Longhorns next at the Big 12 Championship. And guess what? They are playing a team they already beat in the Oklahoma Sooners. 

Wic Picks: Week 13

Every week, without you all asking, I send each and every one of you Wic Picks. Kinda like what Brett Favre likes to send to women, but this won’t get me sued for harassment.
Some ranked match ups that we saw last night were West Virginia vs. Oklahoma and Washington vs. Washington State. In the first matchup we saw absolutely no defense, as per usual in the Big 12, and the Sooners take a 59-56 win. Their hopes for the Playoff are still alive, but not really. In the second game, Washington upset Washington State, 28-15. This not only destroyed my dreams of a Mike Leach championship, but also Mike Leach’s dreams of a Mike Leach championship.

#15 Kentucky @ Louisville: UK -16.5
I could not tell you the last time I remember Kentucky being favored over Louisville in football. If we have, I don’t think it was this high. With this year’s Louisville team though, it makes sense. Benny Snell is 206 yards away from the all-time rushing record at UK and I think he gets it today. Louisville’s rush defense sucks. I am genuinely surprised that Defensive Coordinator Brian VanGorder survived that coach purge, because he is the root of all defensive problems. Kentucky rolls on the road at Papa John’s Cardinal Stadium.
UK: 38 UL: 24

#4 Michigan @ #10 Ohio State: MICH -4.5
Michigan may lead the all-time series, but since 2000, it has been all Buckeyes. Winning 15 of the last 18, Ohio State effectively owns the state of Michigan. But here is why this year is different: Jim Harbaugh is on a revenge tour. He lost to Wisconsin, Penn State, Michigan State, and Ohio State last year. This year, he has beaten all of them except for OSU. In the best rivalry game in college football, expect the unexpected. A Michigan win in the Shoe is definitely unexpected.
MICH: 34 OSU: 31

Georgia Tech @ #5 Georgia: UGA -16.0
In order to beat Georgia, you have to be able to throw the ball. LSU did that very well and came out on top. Kentucky couldn’t and got smacked up and down the field for 3 hours. Georgia Tech in no way has the ability to throw the ball. This could be a long game.
UGA: 49 GT: 14

#11 Florida @ Florida State: FLA -8.0
Definitely did not expect the spread to be that small. If I wasn’t so afraid of losing money, I would bet on Florida. Florida State has a serious problem with pass defense. Even Louisville QB Jawon Pass had a good game against them. If there is one thing Florida QB Feleipe Franks can do well, it’s lose to Kentucky, but he is also decent at throwing. Expect a gentleman’s blowout.
UF: 38 FSU: 13

Auburn @ #1 Alabama: BAMA -24.5
Some years, this is the best rivalry in the nation. This year it is not, because Auburn sucks. I like to say that anything can happen in a rivalry game and this is especially true in the Iron Bowl, but the Tigers are some hot garbage. Tua throws for 5 more touchdowns and Hurts plays the entire fourth quarter.
BAMA: 45 AUB: 21

South Carolina @ #2 Clemson: CLEM -26.0
Let’s see if Clemson can beat a middle-low tier SEC school. I don’t think so because I hate them.
SCAR: 33 CLEM: 28

#7 LSU @ #22 Texas A&M: TAMU -3.5
Vegas is putting LSU on upset alert this weekend. Even ESPN is giving the Aggies a 60% chance to win. Did someone get hurt for LSU? Is Coach O just not going to be there? I am having a tough time wrapping my head around why people think LSU is going to lose. The team that beat Georgia can’t beat the team that lost to Auburn and Mississippi State? Okay. LSU rolls.
LSU: 35 TAMU: 17

#3 Notre Dame @ USC: ND -11.5
I like to choose against Notre Dame in almost every game that matters for one simple reason. The Irish choke every single year. Tell me I’m wrong. HOWEVVA *Stephen A. Smith voice* Notre Dame will win this one. I’ll admit that they are pretty good now. That win over Syracuse was impressive enough. But not only is ND good, USC is kinda bad. I know Clay Helton is a good coach, but he just isn’t good for USC. Ian Book is going to be able to do whatever he wants all day long.
ND: 40 USC: 24

Soft 16: Michigan Wolverines

Michigan made it all the way to their second National Championship game in 5 years last season. Again, it ended in heartbreak as they got obliterated by the closest thing to the Monstars, Villanova. Making the championship game is always a feat and I don’t want to take anything away from the Wolverines, but I don’t feel bad for any Michigan fans. They had easiest road to the finals. The highest seed they played until Villanova was Houston with a 6. Even in the Final Four they got Loyola Chicago. Again, I don’t want to take anything away from Michigan. At least they capitalized on their easy road *cough Kentucky*. This year won’t be as easy, but they will still be a force to be reckoned with. Let’s take a look at last year’s runner up, Michigan Wolverines.

Head Coach: John Beilein

Key Returners: Charles Matthews, Zavier Simpson, Jordon Poole, Jon Teske

Key Additions: Ignas Brazdeikas, Brandon Johns, David DeJulius

Key Losses: Moritz Wagner, Muhammed Abdul-Rahkman

Key Games: @Villanova, North Carolina, Purdue, Michigan State, @Michigan State

Just like the Gonzaga team that had Kyle Wiltjer, this Michigan team will hold a special place in my heart this season thanks to Charles Matthews. I always hate to see great players leave Kentucky, but it is hard to get playing time with 9 other Top 50 recruits, so I understand. Last year, this team was so much fun to watch. Abdul-Rahkman was electric and that Kool-aid lipped German dude had the silkiest spin move in the NCAA. Even without them, I still think they will be good. Maybe not return to the championship good, but you never know how lucky you’ll get in the tourney. This team will get a ton of attention this year. One because they were runner ups last year. And two because Ignas Brazdeikas and David DeJulius are some fun ass names to say. Every announcer is a sucker for a cool name. Why do you think Hamidou Diallo got some much attention? It wasn’t because of his basketball ability. This will be a good chance to get back on their feet. A National Championship loss can be debilitating and cause a season hangover, but luckily their schedule isn’t too bad. Michigan also has the experience needed to make another tournament run.

Prediction: 24-6. For most Big 10 teams, they play a lot of garbage in a row which can cause them to get complacent. When this happens, it leaves them vulnerable to get beat by some easy teams. Either way, they will still get second place in the Big 10 Regular Season and Tournament to Michigan State. As for the NCAA Tournament, they will make some noise and make it back to the second weekend before getting bounced in the Sweet 16.