Vincent Kompany Nets an Absolute Firecracker against Leicester

Down two points to Liverpool before the last weekend of the EPL season, Manchester City desperately needed a goal to break their gridlock with Leicester. Who do they turn to? The tried and true striker Sergio Aguero? No, he had been relatively contained all game. Sometimes, to win a game, you need a spark from anyone or anything. They got their’s from the captain of the last 30 years (give or take) Vincent Kompany. He pulled up from 25 yards and put it in the top corner. Safe to say, this was an absolute firecracker. Watch:

Yes. The goal is absolutely better with the astounded Englishman in the background respectfully losing his mind. Still need to show some decorum to the beautiful game. “He must have a foot like a traction engine.” That sounds made up, but I don’t know enough about engines to refute it. Personally, I’ve been ripping these in FIFA since 2010 with Kompany and my reaction to actually hitting one of these would have been 10000x more ridiculous.

Sarri Not Sarri: Chelsea Manager Has Lost the Locker Room

The Carabao Cup final between Chelsea and Manchester City was, in a word: Boring. For the first 120 minutes at least. All of regulation and extra time was exactly what Americans hate about soccer. No goals, no chances, no drama. Then, the end of the second extra period came.

Sergio “real slim shady” Aguero took a shot that was saved by Chelsea keeper Kepa Arrizabalaga. While landing after the save, Arrizabalaga writhed in pain, as footballers do, for long enough to cause a delay in the game. So, of course, Chelsea Manager Maurizio Sarri tells back-up keep Willy Caballero to sub in, but Arrizabalaga refused.

Watch what ensued:

Arrizabalaga with the wild disrespect.

From my experience, soccer is built on the foundation of respect. Respect entails a lot of things, and leaving the pitch when you are subbed off is definitely one of them. Arrizabalaga showed that Chelsea does not respect Sarri and that Sarri has officially lost the locker room.

Chelsea later lost the Carabao Cup final in penalty kicks 4-3 with Arrizabalaga in goal. I still blame the “Big Useless” David Luiz.

Expect Sarri to be fired at the end of the season if Chelsea does not make Champions League.

EPL Kick Fix: Matchday 13

The EPL is finally back. With what seemed like the eight international break this month coming to an end, we finally get club soccer back. More soccer actually happens during the break, but it always seems like so much less. Thankfully, we get the EPL and Champions League back this week. Keep an eye out for an article about why I hate the International Break so much.
Either way, big week for the EPL and especially my Spurs.

Tottenham vs. Chelsea– 3:1
Kane and Alli start us off right by both having goals in the first 20 minutes. Both goals assisted by Erikson who had his best game in a while. See what happens when we play our best players against the best teams? Take notes Pochettino. After a very exciting start, there was a serious lull in the middle of the game. This was brought to an end when some wanker from Chelsea tried to keep up with Son on a breakaway. Poor sap never had a chance. There was one more line of defense on this play, David Luiz A.K.A. The Big Useless. He did absolutely nothing as Son put away an easy goal. Finally some changes are made to the Chelsea line up and Giroud scores their only goal all but too late. Depending on who you ask, Chelsea should have won this game. If you ask smart people though, Spurs ran away with it. Great result to put us in the top 3 of the table.

Manchester City vs. West Ham United– 4:0
Not a whole lot to talk about here. Again, just your normal, weekly domination from Man City. Is blowing out every team even fun for the fans anymore? I’m sure it is, but City will get their fair chance at close games when they underachieve in Champions League yet again.

Liverpool vs. Watford– 3:0
Just like the Man City match, this one was pretty cut and dry. Liverpool came, saw, and conquered from start to finish. Salah added another goal in his defense of the Golden Boot which I fully expect. Alexander-Arnold put away an amazing free kick from well outside the box which made my jaw drop. Firmino added insult to injury with the final goal in the 89″. The part of this game I loved the most, though, was when Jordan Henderson was sent off for his second yellow. He made his wild tackle and instead of pleading his case, he just showed himself the door. I am not sure if he even looked at the official. 

Manchester United vs. Crystal Palace– 0:0
Manchester United is 7th in the most recent EPL Table and this did not help at all. Right now, Man U wouldn’t even get into Europa League. I find that hilarious. If they want to get over this hump and start resolving the plethora of problems they have, then they need to start winning games especially against bottom table teams. Personally, I hope they keep drawing and losing. More room for Spurs up top.

Arsenal vs. Bournemouth– 2:1
Good win for the Gunners. I don’t have too terribly much to say about this game except for one goal. It was by Bournemouth, but into their own goal. Lerma was trying to block a cross or something and ended up landing the perfect strike into his own upper corner. Gotta hand it to Arsenal, they really let the other team give them this game.

Weekly Awards:
Bloke of the Week: David Luiz (Chelsea)- watched and/or stood still while Tottenham scored three goals on him. He was in the vicinity of all three and definitely should have had more of a say in them. This is why I have dubbed him “The Big Useless” and Bloke of the Week.
Brilliant Lad: Christian Erikson (Tottenham)- Best game he has had in a while. Had two assists in a very important win for Spurs. Moves into sole possession of third place and only 5 points behind the leader, Man City.
Absolute Firecracker: Tie between Jefferson Lerma (Bournemouth) for his Own Goal and Trent Alexander-Arnold (Liverpool) for his beautiful free kick.

Christian Pulisic Needs to Move to EPL

Even at the age of 20, Christian Pulisic has already established himself as the greatest American soccer player of all time. I know that isn’t the most impressive thing in the soccer world, but he was a teenager just a couple of months ago. Don’t come at me and say the best player is Donovan, Dempsey or Wynalda. They are bench players at best compared to Pulisic. Not hot, homeless garbage like Alexei Lalas, but replaceable nonetheless.

Pulisic has seen a cut in his playing time this year at Borussia Dortmund. He needs to get out of there and he needs to get out soon. Even if Bayern come knocking, I think he should make a move to the English Premier League instead. Pulisic has an incredible amount of potential. In order for him to reach that potential, he needs to be on a better team playing consistently better competition. Dortmund and the Bundesliga cannot provide that. While Dortmund has a very good development program (just ask Bayern), they have done all that they can do.

He needs to make the move at the end of the season, but not just to anywhere. It needs to be to a top 6 team (Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United, Manchester City, Chelsea, Tottenham). He also needs to be allowed to play his Right Wing position, not the everything role he is forced into with US Soccer. Pulisic has proven with Team USA that he can shine without support, but he needs to be surrounded by good players if he is going to be consistent.

I see this as the most likely destination. Salah will most likely be bought in the very near future. They are going to need a great, young talent to replace him at RW. Pulisic will not be able to pick up right where Salah left off in terms of goals, but he would be a great fit.

Manchester City
He would have to take a cut to his playing team (yes, even more than now), but he would shine in that offense.

This would be awesome for Pulisic. I love the idea of him as Hazard’s counter-part. Also, the club will need a new winger soon since Real Madrid has said that Eden Hazard is on their short-list.

Okay, I would go absolutely insane if this happened. Spurs has had some serious problems with injuries and having a consistent RW. Pulisic could really use a prominent role that Spurs could give him as a chance to develop.

Manchester United and Arsenal
Cannot see him going here. These clubs have a history of misusing attacking players and not getting much production out of them. I am willing to argue this with anyone.