Other than videos where people say “here’s the tea” or “okeeeerrt”, successful gender reveals are the worst videos on the internet. Just groups of people no one cares about doing nothing of importance and, all of a sudden, there is a cloud of pink or blue smoke. Hard to believe that in the year of our Lord 2019, this is still peak human creativity.
If you haven’t seen one, let me take you through it step by step. It’s always some out of shape couple in front of their detached garage waiting for the grandma-to-be to figure out the camera. Then, the most annoying couple ever pulls a string releasing balloons. If it reveals a blue balloon, everyone cheers. If it is pink, everyone cheers, but the dad looks dead inside.
It’s even worse when they try to get a sport involved. Sometimes, the woman throws a ball that will explode on impact to her JV shortstop all-star of a husband. And this asshole will actually take the pitch as if a better one is coming. That brings me to some of the best videos on the internet. The gender reveal fails.
Even professional athletes like Kirk Cousins and Gordon Hayward are getting involved.
And, of course, the most controversial gender reveal ever. Gordon Hayward being noticeably upset that he is having another girl.
“Daddy’s… always happy.”
But in all seriousness, stop doing gender reveals. This one actually started a wildfire in Arizona…
Just when I thought they could not get any worse, I was quickly proven wrong. Some jabroni at Duke decided to make yet another cringeworthy gender reveal video by having Zion Williamson dunk a basketball that released confetti. Ingenious plan that now makes them everybody’s least favorite couple. Take a look:
After going 3-7 in their last 10 games, the Celtics looked like their season was over. Everyone thought they were done, expect for me. I totally didn’t have three articles in my drafts with words like “Celtics” and “over” and “done” and “kill me” in the headline. I never once, for even a second, had doubts about our future, especially after last night.
The Celtics WORKED the “best team ever” Warriors 128-95. No, Klay Thompson did not play, but I have a hard time believing he would have had a 33 point impact on the game. Tatum was pinning KD on the backboard, Scary Terry wanted all the smoke from Boogie, Hayward played like he only does against the Timberwolves and most importantly, the Celtics won an important game with Kyrie in the lineup.
After the All-Star Break, Boston was doing significantly better without Kyrie in the lineup. It looked like he had already exercised his player option with 20 games remaining in the season. Players claimed there were “too many egos” and that the locker room was “toxic”, but all that has seemed too change. Before last night, I would have assumed that Kyrie was 30/70 staying to going. Now, it’s at 60/40. There is hope.
The biggest story though is definitely Gordon Hayward. He dropped 30 off the bench which is a beatdown he normally reserves just for the T-wolves. The Celtic’s biggest strength (and Warriors biggest weakness) is their bench and Hayward is the reason why. Versus the Golden State bench, the final score was 32-30. Hayward was only outscored by 2 points.
It is time for everyone to stop worrying about the Celtics… unless we hit another losing streak.
In the Celtics’ 115-102 win over the Timberwolves, Gordon Hayward had his best game of the season. Scoring 35 points on 14-18 shooting including 4-7 from three, he was sensational all game long. This begs the obvious question: Is Hayward back?
YES. Big time.
In a night to remember, Hayward finally looked like his old self. We got a glimpse of this on December 1, also versus the Timberwolves, when he dropped 30 points, 9 rebounds and 8 assists. But tonight, even without Kyrie Irving to facilitate the offense, Gordon Hayward took over early and did not ever let up. Oh, and he did it all coming off the bench.
He was dunking, blowing by defenders, draining threes in Taj Gibson’s face, pulling up from mid-range and, above all, trusting himself. He even bodied Karl-Anthony Towns a couple time on defense. One of the hardest things to do coming back from an injury is to trust your body will not fail like it had before. But Gordon was planting, cutting and jumping without any fear in his abilities.
Hayward is BACK… or maybe he just really hates the Minnesota Timberwolves. That is a very real possibility. They did pass on him in favor of Wesley Johnson in the 2010 NBA Draft. Is he still holding a grudge? Back to back 30 point games for a player who is struggling versus most other teams don’t come out of nowhere. I’m totally kidding, Gordon Hayward is back, baby!