Stop Beating the Celtics, Giannis. They’re Already Dead

Giannis and the Bucks hit the Celtics with the reverse card in the second round of the Eastern Conference Playoffs. After the embarrassment of a Game 1 blowout at home, Milwaukee put on their monocle and top hat and politely escorted the Celtics home with a gentleman’s sweep.

If that 4-1 reversal and implosion of the team wasn’t bad enough, Giannis had to pile on when asked for a comment about the Raptors.

Come on, man. You were supposed to talk about the Raptors, not make me feel even worse about my team. I felt like I just got dunked on in my mom’s basement.

I can’t even hate Giannis for it and that makes me hate this comment even more. I know he didn’t mean this as a slight to Boston or anything, he just wanted to give a good answer. Really, the only way I could hate him is if he did Space Jam 2 and that does not seem at all likely. All I want is for Giannis to do exactly what he did against the Celtics versus the Raptors. That way, I will know that we lost to the best player instead of some role player shooting 160% from 3… like Khris Middleton.

The Highest Drafted Player in the Bucks-Raptors Series Has to Be a Joke

For the first time in a while, the best two teams in the Eastern Conference have made the Conference Championship. Usually, it’s whoever the Raptors and Sixers choke against versus the ragtag bunch of G-leaguers LeBron threw together. But now, LeBron is gone. And the Eastern Conference Playoffs are finally unpredictable and watchable.

The Raptors and the Bucks series starts Wednesday. 1 vs. 2, all-stars and future Hall of Famers vs. all-stars and future Hall of Famers. Kawhi and Giannis are top 5 players in the NBA and are joined by starting lineups full of studs. But, were these amazing basketball players always considered amazing? Who out of the 10 players that comprise these two starting lineups was considered the best when being drafted into the NBA?

Image result for raptors starting lineup

Might want to be sitting down for this one.

Is it Giannis? Some teams take chances on foreign players and draft them super high. But no, he is tied with Kawhi for second highest at 15th overall.

What about Eric Bledsoe? A lot of Kentucky guys get drafted pretty high. Especially in that first Calipari class that included John Wall and Demarcus Cousins. But also no. He wasn’t taken until 18.

In fact, there was not a single player in either starting 5 that was taken in the single digits. Only one lottery pick between the two. And that one player is Brook Lopez who was take 10th overall in the 2008 NBA Draft. 10th overall and also the 10th best player out of the two starting lineups.

Image result for bucks starting lineup

Here is how the rest of the players stacked up in their respective drafts:
Bucks:
Bledsoe- 18th
Mirotic- 23rd
Middleton- 39th
Giannis- 15th
Lopez- 10th

Raptors:
Lowry- 24th
Green- 46th
Kawhi- 15th
Siakam- 27th
Gasol- 48th

This has got to be some kind of sick joke. Lopez plays like he Patrick Ewing in Space Jam right after he got his powers stolen by the aliens from Moron Mountain. Brook’s (girl’s name) lack of an ability to rebound will be what kills the Bucks if they lose this series.

David Bakhtiari: Pro Bowl Beer Chugger

Green Bay Packers Offensive Lineman David Bakhtiari is a jack of all trades. Pro-Bowl NFL O-lineman, incredible a cappella singer (featured in Pitch Perfect 2) and elite beer chugger that would put every wannabe Frank the Tank to shame. As the Bucks were stomping on my heart with metal spikes, David Bakhtiari was having a casual beer supporting his fellow Wisconsin athletes when the jumbotron focused on him. A switch was flipped in his mind and he turned into the animal his is on the gridiron.

One beer for every all-star leaving the Celtics this offseason. I am not sure what exactly happened to him, but it looked like an involuntary reaction and he had to drink all the alcohol in front of him. The best part was the Gladiator style approval from Aaron Rodgers.

Now, all we need is a chug off between Bakhtiari and this guy. Three pitchers and the whole thing will take about 10 seconds.

Remember the Last Time Some Stupid Team Chanted “We Want Boston”?

One seeds should never adopt the underdog mentality. Especially when they are about to play a 4 seed.The fans of the Milwaukee Bucks have officially put a target on their back. While it is pathetic for a 1 seed to ever chant they want another team, it is understandable given that the city of Milwaukee is not used to being on the winning side of anything.

If Bucks fans were going to chant anything, it should have been “we want Detroit” last round. Chanting “we want Boston” has not worked out too well for the chanting team in past. For example, recall what happened just last year.

That’s right. The ever so rational fans of the New York Yankees chanted that they wanted Boston right before last year’s ALDS. Then, Boston promptly laid down the gentleman’s sweep out of respect for their rival.

The Red Sox won the series with ease 4 games to 1. This included a 16-1 curb stomp in Game 3. Should have been smarter Milwaukee, because we all know history repeats itself. Celtics in 7.

Giannis Dunks from Free Throw Line after One Dribble Covers 3/4 of the Court

As we all know, Giannis Antetokounmpo is one of the scariest freak athletes to ever grace the hardwood. And in game 1 of his Eastern Conference Playoff series against the Pistons, he showed us exactly why. Watch:

He actually first touches the ball on Detroit’s 3 point line, takes one dribble, and dunks from the Bucks’ free throw line. I didn’t even know that was possible. Giannis is a real life Monstar. What makes me upset is that he will not be joining LeBron for Space Jam 2. So, even though I will not be able to see an alien from Moron Mountain steal his powers, I can still dream about what it would be like if he were in the movie.

Buck’s Win-Now Mentality Lead to Multiple Money Moves

Let’s discuss a few facts: 1) the 76ers Win-Now moves proved to enhance their playoff odds, and 2) the Raptors significantly upgraded their weakest positions with a bona fide All-Star (R.I.P. Grizzlies Marc Gasol) and the old flame of the NBA (R.I.P. Jeremy “Lin-Sanity” Lin). To add to this, the Celtics are still hyper talented. Issue? The Bucks only added Pau Gasol and Nikola Mirotic. To top it all off? They just gave a 4 year, $70 million contract extension to Eric Bledsoe.

…yikes…

I personally am not a fan at all over the Bledsoe contract. I personally don’t see the rational in giving a 29 year old, non All-Star guard a near max contract when an All-Star 3-and-D wing is likely to decline his player option at the end of this year. However, I get the mantra of “a man playing on a new deal is a man playing to prove he deserved the new deal”.

This is a weird couple moves done by the Bucks. I can’t wait to see what happens, since they were lacking in depth. However, it was more wing depth over big depth since their best lineups occur when Giannis plays center (aka the soon to be Bledsoe-Brogdon-Middleton-Mirotic-Giannis). I hope Pau can get some meaningful minutes, but I’m concerned by these moves. It’s not as “Win-Now” and “Forward-Thinking” as the Celts, 76ers, and Raptors have been. I hope Giannis can shoulder the load, and lead this team to the promise land of the Conference Finals.