Smash Mouth vs. the Phillies Is the Battle We Never Knew We Needed

SOMEBODY once told me that Smash Mouth would be in the news again very soon. I just assumed that there was a new Shrek movie they were featured on. So, you could imagine my disappointment when it was anything other than that. We didn’t get what we wanted, but what we got was something we never knew we needed. Smash Mouth is now bashing Bryce Harper and Phillies fans on Twitter.

And the tweets started coming and they didn’t stop coming.

I really can’t tell what side the Shrek guys are on. Do they like Bryce Harper or are they just still butt hurt that he did not go to San Francisco? If that was the case, then why are they coming after Phillies fans for booing Harper? If there is one thing that never changes in sports, it’s that Phillies fans are going to be fair weather fans no matter what. But they do get defended by the players for some reason. This time by reliever Tommy Hunter.

And even Brett Myers, ’08 World Series champion and now musician felt the need to step in.

And old Phillies player turned musician is really going after Smash Mouth for not having fans in the one city that they do. Weird.

New Favorite to Land Bryce Harper

According to popular online sportsbook,, there is a new favorite in the race to land Bryce Harper and it is not who you would expect.

So far, the teams that have showed the most interest in Harper have been the Washington Nationals, New York Yankees and Philadelphia Phillies. Everyday, it seems less and less likely that he will remain in Washington.

It seems like owners are growing skeptical about giving big contracts to players as of late. Players like Jacoby Ellsbury are getting huge contracts and immediately bro-ing down. No team, especially not the Yankees, want to get burned again.

See the source image

Now, as released new odds on what team will land Harper with the San Francisco Giants the number one location.

We are only two weeks out from the start of Spring Training and Bryce Harper and Manny Machado still have yet to sign. It seems like they are both waiting for the other to sign a contract so they can use it as precedent. In my personal opinion, Harper will sign with the Phillies while Machado signs with the Yankees and it will happen within hours of each other.

FTD: Manny and Bryce, are you Alive?

This is becoming one of the most annoying free agency seasons of all time. The top 2 members of this class have done absolutely nothing and both seem to be waiting for one thing….The New York Yankees.

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It shouldn’t shock anyone when I say this, but both players want to be a Yankee but both players want 300 million plus, which the Yankees just won’t do anymore. They made that mistake twice with Alex and Tex. The Yankees have been smart with their money under Hal and many people, including me, grew tired of it. But, it has worked. From a team that had no hope in 2016 to making a surprising 2017 ALCS appearance and in 2018 hitting the most home runs ever in a season. The last two seasons, they’ve lost to the World Series Champion. Hopefully it turns into a World Series soon, but they don’t need much to get there. They have their pitching. Starters will be better this season with the addition of Paxton, Happ for a whole season, and gaining Montgomery back from his Tommy John. They have young talent, but they need a veteran/young talent and that is exactly what Harper and Machado supply.

I think there is a zero percent chance the Yankees sign both of them, so who and what do they need? If you add Harper, you add an outfielder and a DH, which you do not need. The Yankees have Gardner, Judge, Hicks, Stanton, and unfortunately they still have Ellsbury. So you already have a 5 man rotation with Stanton and Judge essentially alternating DH/RF. Not only do they have those 5, but they also have a top outfielder in their farm system in Clint Frazier who they will not trade for some reason. Harper just does not fit in unless he commits to only 1B but I think Cashman wants Voit/Bird running that show. Harper would be amazing in NY, especially with that RF porch. I say they don’t sign him which leads him back to Washington.

I think the Yankees sign Manny 100%, my personal guarantee. I reported it weeks ago, Dan Clark did too and stands by his as well. Manny will be a Yankee and play 3B. He just fits and both parties would benefit. That gives the Yankees Torres, Tulo, Andujar, and Manny until Didi return in August, which is a perfect time to trade for a starting pitcher (sorry Andujar) and leaves us just Manny at 3B, Didi at SS, Torres at 2B and Tulo as a replacement player for any of those. There has been a few reports that Manny will decide next week, but I don’t buy it. The Yankees have yet to offer him, because they’re waiting to see other offers, but when they do, he’ll sign. I’ll say within the month, by the 26th he’ll be in Pinstripes.

For now, we wait.

Where is Bryce Harper Playing Next Season?


Word on the street is that Bryce Harper already knows what team he will be playing for next season. From what Scott Boras has said, “We know who the team is. It’s already completed and done, but Bryce he told me that he wanted to tell you personally.” This quote came from an interview Boras did during the World Series, and it has gotten a lot of people talking.

Some have said that Boras was just trying to generate publicity and steal some headlines from the World Series, and others think that it is a legitimate look into where Bryce Harper will be playing his ball next year. There are a couple of rumors flying around about where he will be playing next year. These teams include: the Washington Nationals, New York Yankees, Chicago Cubs, Philadelphia Phillies, and the Los Angeles Dodgers. Allow me to explain where I think he will be.

Los Angeles Dodgers:

The only reason why this team is even being rumored is because they have a shit load of money and it seems like that is what Bryce wants. If Bryce wants more than a $300 million contract then this seems to be the place. However, the Dodgers don’t really need any kind of outfielder because they’re already pretty loaded with Joc Pederson, Cody Bellinger, and Yasiel Puig. They’re pretty set. So, I would say this is the least realistic option from the rumors.

Washington Nationals:

Myself included, every single Nationals fan wants Bryce Harper to retire as a National. There is no question that he is the only reason why Washington has been relevant in baseball since 2010. However, Bryce is shopping around. He turned down a $300 million contract because he wants to be the richest man in baseball. I mean, I say pay the man, but that’s just me. I think that he should stay, because then he looks like Lebron leaving Cleveland because he couldn’t win a championship there and someone that could said they’d pay him. After he declined that one-time offer, the Nationals said they would only offer something lower. The only chances of Bryce staying in Washington are if the other teams can’t out pay us, which I’m pretty sure most of them can. I think it would have to take a miracle for Bryce Harper to stay on the Nationals. There is no way some team isn’t going to pay him. Why wouldn’t you want Bryce Harper?? He’s one of the best players in baseball. I think that money talks, and so does a chance to win a ring. Bryce wants both and I think someone is out there that has a chance to win the World Series and is willing to pay him to help them do that. That is why I sadly don’t think that Bryce will be in D.C. next season.

Philadelphia Phillies:

Ok, so if Bryce Harper is unhappy in Washington D.C., then why the hell would this team make any sense for him. He would be staying in the division, and one of the worst teams in the division at that. The Phillies were below .500 last year. They are absolute trash. Do you think Bryce Harper wants to go from a team, and city, that has loved him and treated him like a king for years to a team that is worse??? You’re high if you do. He cares about winning and money. They are requirements for him. It is almost a lateral move for him to go from Washington to Philly. It makes no sense.

New York Yankees:

The Yankees are another team, like the Dodgers, that can afford Bryce Harper but have no use for him in the outfield. However, Scott Boras has said that Bryce can play at first base. The Yankees are severely lacking at first base. I think that this is a really smart move from both ends. This was Bryce’s favorite team growing up. The team probably could the World Series without him, but with him they definitely would. So we have pretty much checked all of his boxes. Not to mention that New York is a great city that seems to attract a lot of young athletes. The only reason why I am still hesitant about thinking this is where Bryce Harper will be is because I have also heard that the Yankees have lost traction. That is why this is not the team Bryce will be playing with next year.

Chicago Cubs:

This is the best option for Bryce Harper. Stick him in the outfield with Jason Heyward and either Albert Almora Jr. or Kyle Schwarber and they’d be set. The Cubs would play with the lineup but I think it makes the most sense. Also, the Cubs have won a World Series with this team already. So, it is proven that Bryce Harper can win there. That is a huge draw for him. Bryce Harper can also get paid there. They have no shortage of money in Chicago. All of those aside, you have to also look at the underlying facts in this for Bryce Harper. If he plays at the Cubs then he gets to play with his best friend in all of baseball. Kris Bryant. You don’t think that is the biggest draw of them all? He played with him as kids and now they have a chance to play together again with a chance to win the World Series, and get paid one of the largest contracts in baseball. It just all seems to make the most sense. Finally, to bring the whole thing around, the name of Bryce Harper’s dog is Wrigley. Tell me that isn’t a sign.


So, Bryce Harper will be a Chicago Cub next season.

As a friendly reminder, I am not the house baseball writer. The man I’m quick bating, however, is. So keep that in mind.

– Parmesan Don