Colin Cowherd on the Browns in 2019: “No Playoffs”

Known Baker Mayfield critic and Skip Bayless wannabe, Colin Cowherd was spotted in LAX two days ago by TMZ Sports reporters. Of course, they had to ask him about his #1 target and how the Browns would fare with Baker at the helm.

Surprisingly enough, Cowherd said some nice things about Baker… Theeeennn attacked Mayfield’s character calling him immature. Why not? Cowherd went on to say that the Browns will win games next season, but will not beat the Steelers nor will they make the playoffs.

Now, Browns fans, don’t get too upset because this man is often ALWAYS wrong. This is coming from the guy who said that Durant would never go to the Warriors. The guy who said the Cubs absolutely wouldn’t win the World Series in 2016. The guy who said during the 2016 NBA Finals, when the series was 2-0 Golden State, that LeBron was too old to chase you down and block you from behind. We all know how these turned out.

As we can see, when Colin Cowherd makes a definitive statement like that, the opposite almost always happens. So, Browns fans, get ready for your first postseason since 2002. Best believe that Baker has already heard this and will win the Super Bowl purely out of spite.

Hue Jackson Is the Worst Thing to Happen to Football

Hue Jackson is the worst coach that has ever lived. While Marvin Lewis has been rewarded for his mediocrity, Hue Jackson has been rewarded for his incompetence. Among coaches that have coached at least 40 games, Jackson has the second worst winning percentage at .205 (11-44-1). The only person that he is beating is Bert Bell of the Eagles who went 10-46-2 and was never fired because he OWNED the team.

If I saw someone who has the resume that Jackson does, I would turn and run. But somehow, he still has a job.

Jackson exercises due diligence to ruin every place he has ever been. His first season in Oakland he went 8-8. Pretty good if you don’t think about it. In all seriousness, anything better than 0-16 looks decent for him, but it is only a .500 season. It also accounts for 8 of his 11 wins. This happened in 2011. Since then, the Raiders have only made the playoffs one time and do not seem to be making a push any time soon. Ruined.

Apparently, one 8-8 season warrants the opportunity to be a Head Coach again and Jackson was hired by the Browns in 2016. Cleveland gave him millions of dollars, all the draft picks he needed and the ability to bring in all of his own coaches. Ya know what he gave Cleveland in return? The worst coaching performance in the Super Bowl Era. With a winning percentage of .088 and a record of (3-36-1) including that infamous 0-16 season. Ruined.

The people of Cleveland still look back on that season like a war veteran remembering a battle or an overly dramatic frat star looking back on hell week. Since being fired by Cleveland, they turned the season around and even made a playoff push, but sadly, Jackson broke them beyond repair.

Somehow, Hue Jackson was still given a job in the NFL with the mediocrity enablers themselves, the Cincinnati Bengals. His title is Special Assistant to the Head Coach which is hilarious. Before he arrived, the Bengals were 5-4 (including a 4-1 start) and were poised to take the AFC North. Since he was hired, they are 1-5 and are last in the division. Bengals fans are starting to act like the citizens of Pawnee. Literally can not be happy about anything. I was at Paul Brown Stadium for the Bengals vs. Broncos game and fans were leaving the stadium because they were down 10 in the third quarter. Just no hope.

Yes, the Bengals were already ruined, but Hue Jackson has sped up the tanking process.

Condoleezza Rice in Sports

Whether you agree with her politics stances or her administration, we can all agree that Condoleezza Rice is an amazing person. She is a former Secretary of State (first African-American woman), a current provost at Stanford University (First African-American), recipient of 13 honorary doctorates and, of course or I wouldn’t be writing about it, an avid sports fan. 

Sports fandom was instilled in her at a very young age. Her father was a football coach in Birmingham, Alabama, so you know she was living, breathing, and eating football. Rice grew up rooting for Alabama and the Cleveland Browns. Complete opposites in terms of willingness to admit it. Aside from just being a fan, she also competed. She took up ice skating and golfing when her family moved to Denver, Colorado. So, on top of being an amazing person professionally, she was also a huge advocate for sports. Rice was even awarded the Billie Jean King Award by the Women’s Sports Foundation and was one of the first two women to ever be admitted to Augusta National Golf Club. I knew about her time as Secretary of State and some honorary degrees, but I didn’t know she was a secret baller. 

Along with her other sports accomplishments, Condoleezza Rice was the first woman to ever serve on the College Football Playoff Committee. Her three year term had a couple of questionable decisions like Ohio State making the playoff, but they ended up winning it all. Just another take blowing up in my face. To be honest, the CFP committee has gotten a lot worse since she left. While a lot of people may not have agreed with her being on it in the first place, at least she wasn’t biased. Sure, she was associated with Alabama and Stanford, but she also wasn’t the freaking Athletic Director of a school that is always on the bubble (@Gene Smith and Ohio State). In my opinion as someone who hates the CFP Committee, Rice did great.

Now, Condoleezza Rice has reemerged back into the sports world. There have been reports by Bleacher Report and ESPN that she is being considered for an interview to be the next Head Coach of the Believeland Browns. What? She has no coaching experience, but what do they have to lose? You know Hue Jackson is bad when picking a replacement that has no experience doesn’t sound like the worst idea. Personally, I would love to play for such a respectable person, not Hue Jackson who couldn’t coach a Rally’s Drive-thru. Sadly, the Browns are denying such reports. Condoleezza Rice has also come out and said that she is not ready to coach yet.

Not ready? Rice was the Secretary of State during the Iraq War. I think she can handle the Browns. This also begs the question: if she claims she is not ready to coach YET… does that mean she is preparing?

The Browns Are the Most Exciting Team in Football

There is no denying that the Cleveland Browns are incredible this year. At least compared to last season. They are my favorite dumpster fire in the NFL and I cannot get enough. Last year, they were 0-16 and it was just sad. This year, they are still making the same bonehead mistakes, but with good players. We get the people Cleveland acting like the citizens of Pawnee, ridiculous trades, games that only come down to the wire, and now the firing of Head Coach Hue Jackson and Offensive Coordinator Todd Haley.

This team is so much fun to watch. They made some serious moves in the offseason and now have some real talent. They drafted Baker Mayfield, traded for Jarvis Landry, and Myles Garrett is finally coming alive. Not only are the players exciting, the games themselves have me on the edge of my seat. They should be winning some games handily, but since the Browns gonna Browns, they can never seem to pull away. With the exception of the Chargers and the last game against the Steelers, every game has been a nail-biter. Best of all, half of their games have ended in overtime. Cleveland has been through so much, and they are still giving us free football. Real Mom Theresa stuff here. The best part about them always going into overtime is that they play at 1PM. When every other game ends at 4PM, the Browns still have another 30 minutes that perfectly bridges the gap between the 1PM and 4:05/4:25PM games.

My favorite saber-metric from the Browns: they have had every possible outcome happen to them. Overtime win, overtime loss, regulation win, regulation loss and of course, a tie.

The games have been awesome so far. But when they end, the show is only just beginning. The front office in Cleveland is an absolute cirrus. First, they traded Josh Gordon, who was arguably their best receiver, to the Patriots for very little in return. Now we have a whole new shitstorm that is making everyone forget about that. The day after Cleveland Cavaliers Head Coach Tryonn Lue was fired, the Browns decided to clean house and fire HC Hue Jackson and OC Todd Haley. It is about freaking time. It amazes me that it took them two and a half years to fire the coach with the worst record in the Super Bowl era. Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams has taken over as Interim Head Coach which is a whole different forest fire that is about to start. I realize he is probably the highest ranking coach on the team after the firings, but I would never trust the guy who gave up 45 point to the Raiders to run the rest of the team. No matter what they try to do, in the end the Browns gonna Browns.

I very much understand and accept the way that Browns fan act. S/o to my man, McNeil (@reflog_18 on Twitter) and Connor Shaw (@cshaw1696), not the quarterback, my buddy and Browns fan who they tag on instagram instead of the quarterback.