Grading Brewers LF Ben Gamel’s Pregame Ritual

Jason Terry slept in his next opponent’s shorts, Brian Urlacher ate 2 Girl Scout cookies, Alexander Ovechkin has sex, and almost every other athlete has some sort of pregame ritual. From grade school ballers to the highest paid professionals, these routines can range from a simple handshake to eating part of the field. Tame to probably insane.

Then, we have Brewers outfielder Ben Gamel. His pregame ritual looks more like a pregame for the Sigma Chi pimps and hoes date party than a baseball game in Milwaukee. Take a look:

Yup, he shotguns a Redbull before every game through a hole made by his metal spikes. Impressive form from someone who skipped college and went straight to the majors. This one definitely lies closer to Les Miles eating grass in terms of insanity, especially since no one needs to drink Redbull at all, much less chug it. However, it is much better than all the other one’s above… except Ovi’s, of course.

Originality: A
Execution: B (too much spillage at the beginning)
Difficulty: C-
Frattiness: A+++

Ryan Braun Now Using Analytics Instead of Steroids to Get Better

Ryan Braun is trying something he has never tried before. No, not steroids; we know he has done those plenty of times. But he is changing his swing with the help of analytics.

After his worst batting season in 12 years, Braun is looking to add force to his swing. Force hardly seems like the problem though. After all, he ranked 20th last year in exit velocity ahead of Manny Machado and Mike Trout. Sadly for Braun, hard hit balls doesn’t necessarily translate to getting on base, just some kinda high fly outs to center.

Last season, Braun hit 20 HR’s and 64 RBI’s on just a .254 batting average. He also had 85 strikeouts. Maybe he should change his swing to focus on just making some freaking contact. But, Braun still wants to focus on power. He wants to take luck out of the equation and just hit balls over the fence. Only problem is that Braun is 34 now and has been on a steady decline for several seasons, so adding power now seems unlikely.

My suggestion: the tried and true method of anabolic steroids. Let’s go deep.