Ben Simmons Trying to Build a House with These Bricks

A debate as old as his career: can Ben Simmons shoot? While his .000 3PT% says no, but his relationships with Tanashe and Kendall Jenner say maybe.

In college, Simmons’ jumpshot looked like it was a promising work in progress. A couple years in the NBA should develop him into a semi-reliable three point shooter. But now, in his third rookie season, Simmons is not only tied for the worst three point percentage in the league, but teams refuse to respect him from anywhere outside the paint.

He is working on it though. Only problem, the practice is showing absolutely no progress of any kind. Take a look:

Looking like Shaq from the free throw line. To be completely fair, that assistant coach was playing super stellar defense right there. A lot more defense at the top of the key than Simmons is used to.

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I Guess Wanted Posters Are a Thing Now?

Like a lot of the worst trends in this country, this one started in Brooklyn. After the Nets shut down Ben Simmons in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Playoffs, they got a little cocky. Pretty soon, the area surrounding Barclays Center was littered with wanted posters looking for Simmons’ missing jumpshot.

This is so perfect. You have to appreciate the amount of time and effort that went into making this poster. At least 6 jabs at Simmons for his inability to shoot. Unfortunately for the Nets, this only inspired Simmons to go off for triple-double.

Now, like the Dropkick Murphys, the wanted poster trend is shipping up to Boston. Bruins fans have begun posting wanted signs for Nazem Kadri for his cross check on the Bruins’ Jake Debrusk.

Looks like the pettiness of the NBA is rubbing off on the NHL and I am HERE FOR IT. However, The people of Boston had to have seen the effects that the Brooklyn wanted posters had on them. Can’t say they haven’t been warned.

In all seriousness, as a Boston fan, I am not worried about any series with Toronto for one major reason…

The Nets Deserve Every Part of Their Last Two Losses to the Sixers

In a shocking upset, the Brooklyn Nets defeated the Philadelphia 76ers in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference First Round. To the Nets credit, they did shut down Redick, Harris and Simmons en route to a 111-102 victory. They even made Philly fans devolve into their natural forms and began booing their own team.

Little did they know, Philly booing themselves is a pretty easy feat to achieve. Game 1 could have just been an off night for the Sixers. Maybe just part of “the process” we should all be trusting.

Hard to believe that the team that hasn’t been good since Jason Kidd was a player would let one win go to their head. The trolls of Brooklyn even put up their keyboard for a night and took to the streets to let Ben Simmons know just how badly he played in Game 1.

Gotta say; this is pretty hilarious. Not just that something that never existed can’t be missing, but that every other line has a new jab at Simmons. The amount in his contract, the contact at the bottom, and the reference to what Jared Dudley had to say about Simmons’ play… “just average.”

Simmons probably didn’t see the missing poster before Game 2, but he definitely heard what Dudley had to say. He was probably asking the same question as the rest of us: “Wait, who is Jared Dudley?” It’s gotta sting a little bit when a lesser-known player than yourself decides to call you “just average”.

Brooklyn had to know that all of this chirping was going to bite them in the long run. And bite them it did. In Game 2, Simmons dropped a triple-double. Then, a 31 point performance in Game 3 to take the lead of the series 2-1.

Shouldn’t have poked the bear, Brooklyn. Y’all deserve every bit of these last two losses.

Is Kendall Free From the Curse?

For anyone who knows anything about Hollywood, the Kardashian/Jenner clan run the world. People grow up obsessed with everything they do. Whether it be lip kits, perfume, makeup, or photoshoots, people follow their every move, which is fine for most people but not athletes. If you know about the Kardashian/Jenner then you know about their curse that they bring along. Khloe and Kim have cursed athletes and other celebrities, but has Kendall Jenner actually done the opposite for Ben Simmons?

When Khloe was married to Lamar Odom, he was at the peak of his career. While they were married, Lamar’s cousin died and then the following week Lamar was involved in a serious wreck in which his driver struck a 15 year old boy, killing him. This led to a downward spiral for Lamar, which led to his drug addiction as well as him being found unconscious at a brothel. Now, this wasn’t all Khloe’s fault, but she was married to him..thus the Kardashian curse had struck.

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Khloe also dated James Harden, who blamed his struggles on the media surrounding Khloe and him. They started dating in 2015 and eventually broke up after 8 months due to the “scrutiny” he was under and it left him unfocused. James said “I didn’t like all the attention. I feel like it was for no reason. I wasn’t getting anything out of it except my name out there and my face out there, and I don’t need that. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t me. I don’t need pictures of myself when I’m driving my car. Who cares? What shoes am I wearing? Who cares? Where am I eating? Who cares? It was unnecessary stuff that I think trickled down to my teammates. I had to eliminate that.” James had his worst season in the NBA during this time.

Tristan Thompson and Khloe Kardashian have been a thing for awhile, well since 2016. Since that time, his team got swept in the NBA Finals and also lost in 5 games to the same team the previous year. During that time, the 2017 Finals, Tristan had a stretch of 3 games and in that stretch, he scored zero points in two of those 3 games. Many people blamed the dreaded Kardashian curse, even ESPN’s Jalen Rose saying, “I want to say what everybody’s thinking. There are three things in life that are certain to me: Father Time, gravity, and the curse of the Kardashians. Tristan Thompson had zero points in two of the three (Finals) games.”

Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian tied the knot in 2011. Kris was in the prime of his career, with a contract year coming up and he had the worst year of his career. Right after they got married, they moved to New York together and it all went downhill. Kris and Kim were not right for one another and fought all the time, but during their 72 day marriage, Kim killed Kris’ basketball career, too. Not only his career, but his pride left too as he claimed the Kardashians were only using him to shine light on their family, he was denied the annulment.

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I think it is well known now that the Kardashian clan can cause some trouble for anyone who enters their lives. Well, not Ben Simmons. Kendall and Ben have been dating for awhile, but mainly during this season. This season, Simmons is averaging 16.7 points, 9.1 rebounds, 7.9 assists that roughly mirrors his stats from last season. In fact, he has improved in rebounding by a whole rebound as well as points. Simmons has had a better year while averaging the exact same minutes as the year before, oh and not to mention, the 76ers are a combined 13-2 when Kendall comes to a game. In the games she comes to, Simmons typically plays one of his better games of the year, which brings into question…Is Kendall exempt from the curse?

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I think it’s clear than Kendall is not apart of the curse. They have won 13 of 15 when she is present and Simmons tends to play one of his better games of the season. I wrote earlier on how Jenner was trying to convince Simmons to come to LA ( and that was almost proven when the NBA decided to investigate tampering between Magic and Simmons, but he just wanted to learn from Magic on his position. If I’m the 76ers and Ben Simmons, I try and keep Kendall around for as long as possible. Not only is she beautiful, but she is helping your team win and helping Ben Simmons become the best player possible.

Exactly How to Stop Ben Simmons

On February 10, the Philadelphia 76ers took on the Los Angeles Lakers. The Sixers won 143-120, but Ben Simmons really did not help all that much. He only had 8 points, 7 assists, and 3 rebounds. More of a Lonzo stat line if you ask me.

So how did the Lakers hold him to such a bad night? They did not do anything spectacular. In fact, they did not do anything at all. Take a look at how LeBron guards him on this play.

Everyone know that Ben Simmons cannot shoot. Well, at least not on the basketball court. He is dating Kendall Jenner after all. Simmons can take just about anyone to the rack. This includes LeBron James. The best way to keep him from scoring is only guard him from where he can score from. Within 5 feet of the basket.

Don’t let Simmons take you off the dribble. Don’t let him get the separation or get you off balance near the rim. Guard him within the circle only. What is he going to do, shoot a three?