This is a personal favorite headline from NFL Draft weekend. Every weekend dozens of brides-to-be head to Nashville, Tennessee, for one last hoorah before marrying their betrothed. Little did they know, their night of eating gummy penises and drinking from dick straws would be cut short by the people of Buffalo jumping through tables and country bumpkins in cheese hats. The reactions are perfect.
She’s BIG MAD. Turns out being super unoriginal can be detrimental to positive results. Who knew? Every boring bachelorette party ends up in Nashville somehow. Go somewhere where everyone doesn’t already hate you.
Imagine taking one weekend away from your fiance to wear matching annoying shirts, pretend to be important on a thirsty peddler and be a public nuisance only to be out-nuisanced by the biggest public nuisance of all, Philadelphia Eagles fans. Being surrounded by people who take football too seriously is not a break from your future husband at all. It’s just more of the same.
Speaking of the future husband, how did he not warn his bride-to-be about this? When she told him she was going to Nashville the last weekend of April, how did a switch not flip? Maybe they didn’t say anything, because it would be really funny for these women to experience the Fyre Fest. Judging from their attitudes in the video, they probably knew and just ignored it. Either way, their future husbands (or wives, it’s 2019) are walking into a shitstorm come Sunday.