Other than videos where people say “here’s the tea” or “okeeeerrt”, successful gender reveals are the worst videos on the internet. Just groups of people no one cares about doing nothing of importance and, all of a sudden, there is a cloud of pink or blue smoke. Hard to believe that in the year of our Lord 2019, this is still peak human creativity.
If you haven’t seen one, let me take you through it step by step. It’s always some out of shape couple in front of their detached garage waiting for the grandma-to-be to figure out the camera. Then, the most annoying couple ever pulls a string releasing balloons. If it reveals a blue balloon, everyone cheers. If it is pink, everyone cheers, but the dad looks dead inside.
It’s even worse when they try to get a sport involved. Sometimes, the woman throws a ball that will explode on impact to her JV shortstop all-star of a husband. And this asshole will actually take the pitch as if a better one is coming. That brings me to some of the best videos on the internet. The gender reveal fails.
Even professional athletes like Kirk Cousins and Gordon Hayward are getting involved.
And, of course, the most controversial gender reveal ever. Gordon Hayward being noticeably upset that he is having another girl.
“Daddy’s… always happy.”
But in all seriousness, stop doing gender reveals. This one actually started a wildfire in Arizona…
Just when I thought they could not get any worse, I was quickly proven wrong. Some jabroni at Duke decided to make yet another cringeworthy gender reveal video by having Zion Williamson dunk a basketball that released confetti. Ingenious plan that now makes them everybody’s least favorite couple. Take a look: