With the exception of “Tebow Time” in 2010, ESPN has always seemed like they are contractually obligated to dedicate any and all airtime not containing highlights to their lord and savior, LeBron James. Now that Zion has broken onto the scene, he is taking up any space that would have normally gone to Bronny Jr. But now, both LeBron and Zion will not be playing basketball until Zion hits the Summer League.
As we all know, Duke got bounced by Mr. March himself, Tom Izzo, and Michigan State. Ending Zion’s college career and Coach K’s streak of continuous Final Four appearances at 0. LeBron is also out. The Lakers will not make the playoffs and reportedly “are forcing” LeBron to take the rest of the season off. I am sure that was incredibly difficult to convince him to do.
So what, oh what, is a network dedicated to sports, like ESPN, going to cover? That’s right, still Zion and LeBron.
When it comes to LeBron, he is going to keep himself relevant. I am sure he is going to write another “Dear slightly younger LeBron” letter warning him that his LA move is going to be difficult and that he should keep his head up. Or, LeBron could show up to random games of the friends that don’t want to play with him and invite himself into their locker room postgame to do a little tampering. Last and most likely, he will be hired as a postseason analyst by ESPN to give his expertise on the playoffs that he isn’t a part of or let Stephen A Smith verbally pleasure him on-air.
Then, there is Zion. He will do a guaranteed 10+ interviews by the time the draft happens on equally terrible ESPN shows. Sportcenter will gladly bump Bryce Harper home runs to make sure that we get more highlights of Zion’s uncontested dunks. They will also leave plenty of time to unironically discuss if Zion will be taken number 1 overall. They may even bring back Skip Bayless to start some controversy because you know he already has his “I wouldn’t take Zion until the second round” takes ready to go.
ESPN could also lop the two together and give us a daily injury report on two people that aren’t injured. They’ll dedicate at least 2 days of airtime to if Zion should sign with Nike after the shoe debacle and let us know how LeBron’s mostly
broken hand torn groin is doing. Remember how brave he was for returning after 6 weeks when he should have been out 6 months? Truly an inspiration.
We’re not getting rid of these two that easily.