Melo Spurns Lakers: “Get Back in Playoff Contention”

As some major outlets are beginning to report (even though ya boi here called it WAY earlier), Carmelo Anthony was garnering interest from the Los Angeles Lakers to fill the empty roster spot that they currently have. Even though Melo has been cut/traded from every team he has played for in the last 2 years, the Lakers “rightly” believe that they “are different” and that “they will be a better fit for Melo.”

…yeah, when that happens I should also be able to buy my ticket to live on the moon right?

However, aside from these nonsensical dreams of the Lakers to sign Melo and make the playoffs, the worst thing possible for the Lakers occurred. What, you may ask, is that? Did LeBron getting hurt or something? Well, no. Melo decided to turn on a TV and watch the Lakers play, and probably noticed what everyone else has been saying: they suck.

So yes, Melo has decided that he will not be playing for a non-contender, and has even gone as far as telling the Lakers that he will not sign unless they get back into playoff contention. HINT TO ALL YOU LAKER FANATICS: it’s a bad sign that he is saying that they only have to be in PLAYOFF contention, not FINALS contention.

This is surely an eye-opening experience for the Lakers’ front office. I mean, the most undesirable player in the league is spurning your advances because of how garbage you are. I mean, this is spelling out “Sh*t needs to change” internally. Hopefully Jeanie Buss finally listens to Magic, Pelinka, LeBron, every media outlet, every former player, the fans, etc. that Luke Walton needs to go. I also hope that they realize that not having a single decent three point shooter or above average center is actually horrible team construction. Who knows, we will see what the future holds with this team. For now? They can just keep leaving voicemails for Melo until he decides the Lakers actually are decent enough to sign with.

Author: soft7buck

Just a dude with sick flow writing about his favorite things in the world...well, in the sports' world that is

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