Since Wic and Parm allowed me to join their blog, I’ve been forced into the biggest and hardest decision I’ve had to make in awhile. I am a Tottenham Spurs fan and I know nothing about Soccer. I have never played soccer, never watched it unless it is the World Cup, and I’ve absolutely never checked stats, ever. But, let me tell ya, it’s definitely too much.
I don’t want to be just another person who says they hate soccer and never gave it a shot, so that’s what I’m doing. But wow, there are so many games in so many leagues, cups, aggregate, I don’t know what any of them mean. For instance, last week Tottenham lost to Chelsea 2-1 but it went to Penalty Kicks because on aggregate, it was 2-2 so they needed to determine a winner. First off, no. You play 2 games? Everyone knows it is best of 3, not 2. But to my amazement, Wic thought Tottenham won and caused quite the stir. But they didn’t because they did not count “away” goals as meaning more. To put this in terms of everyone, including our soccer folk, that is like claiming that the Yankees technically beat Boston in the ALDS because they scored more on the road than Boston did. It’s just silly and wrong. But again, what do I know?
Another struggle of mine was figuring out who was on “my team.” I sat down with a diehard soccer fan, which was my mistake. He proceeded to tell me every single player Tottenham has and what position they play, spoiler: there are way too many positions in soccer. But nevertheless, I listened and even participated in what I saw as a solution, but it wasn’t. But hey, I tried so it counts. Another thing that helped me was the one and only Coach Lasso. He is the perfect representation of how I would’ve acted in this scenario.
As I continued to find fandom, I was mocked by a Chelsea fan after Tottenham beat them 3-1 and was told “It will never happen again so I don’t know why you’re talking.” But buddy, it did. On January 8th, Tottenham beat Chelsea AGAIN 1-0 and AGAIN on the road. So take that, Tom. And sure enough, that is what got me into soccer. So, come to find out, anything that allows me to brag or argue about sports, even if it’s fútbol, I will find a way to care.
So, in summary, I am a huge Tottenham Spurs fan. It’s literally a cock on a ball, which is comedy itself. I have no clue what goes on half the time, but I am learning. In fact, I got my first jersey. I got a beautiful Harry Kane jersey, just in time for him to miss 2 months. What a time for me. A new sport, a new favorite athlete who is already disappointing me, and Spring Training is about to start. Please baseball, come save me. Please.