Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. Good food and more importantly, good football. Best day of the year to sit 4th of July style (pigeon-toed to make a platform with your knees) on the couch and ignore my family. I already love Thursday football games, and the fact I get three on Thanksgiving makes it that much better.
Bears @ Lions
12:30 P.M. EST
Take the over. I like the Bears in this one especially if Matt Patricia comes out in his signature Lions quarter-zip tarp and backwards hat. Never seems to do too well when he is in that outfit. The Lions really aren’t that good. They may have beaten the Patriots, but I am convinced that Bellichick threw that game to make his coaching tree look better. The Bears, however, are legit. Khalil Mack has this defense right about where Jon Gruden would have wanted it. But why do I think that the Bears will win? Simple. They already beat the Lions two weeks ago 34-22. Chicago was up 26-0 at one point. Detroit only got somewhat close that thanks to Garbage Time Stafford. Sure, the Bears don’t have Trubisky for this one, but the Lions still have to play Matt Stafford.
Prop Bets: Stafford interceptions thrown: +/- 2.5; Mentions of Khalil Mack trade: +/- 8.5; Matt Patricia turning his hat around looking a little too out of breath: +/- 3.5; Mitch Trubisky titties kissed: +/- 0.5
Redskins @ Cowboys
4:30 P.M. EST
This game has all the makings of a game where taking the under is the only option. A battle of two teams that could have also been a real battle in the 1800’s: Check. Quarterbacks that are obvious backups, but have to play for lack of a better option: Check. Awesome running backs that just won’t seem to get enough carries: Check. Defenses that make me sleepy: Check.
Zeke Elliott is the only playmaker in this game. It’s a bad sign when the leading receivers for either team is a tight end and Cole Beasley. This snooze of game will most likely mix with my food coma in a perfect storm to knock me out until the 8:20 game.
Prop Bets: Alex Smith/ Joe Theisman comparisons: +/-5.5; mentions that the Cowboys “took a shot” when drafting Vander Esch: +/-3.5; Camera cuts to Jerry Jones who is obviously not paying attention: +/-4.5
Falcons @ Saints
8:20 P.M. EST
If there was such a thing as a super over, you should take this in this game. You have two top 5 receivers (Michael Thomas and Julio), this year’s MVP Drew Brees, and maybe Matt Ryan will finally have his best game of 2017. Who knows? If you need more reasons to take the over, the last time these two met, the final score was 43-37 Saints. Also the Saints have put up at least 45 points in each of their last 3 games. I think the best backfield in the NFL will crush the terrible Falcon defense, cover, and hit the over.
Prop Bets: Taysom Hill defense snaps: +/-1.5; Taysom Hill actually gives the ball to his running back in a read option: +/-0.5; Mentions of Julio scoring his first TD of the Season about an hour ago: +/-4.5; Replays of Drew Brees breaking the passing yards record: +/-3.5
Note: if you want to google the Thanksgiving games, be sure to include “NFL”. I didn’t and it returned with “16 fun games to play with kids this Thanksgiving.” No. You don’t play games on Thanksgiving. You eat until you can’t move, watch football, drink beer, and you don’t talk to anyone until after beer #5. Those are the rules. I didn’t make them, and I certainly don’t break them.